IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Organizing a large family celebration such as a wedding can often create problems. What can be the problems associated with organizing a large family event and what solution can you suggest? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

#celebration #event #reason
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The main purpose of family
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
show examples
 and
celebration
Fix the agreement mistake
celebrations
show examples
 is to bring happiness
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 family
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
 and bring
all
Correct pronoun usage
them all
show examples
 together
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
todays
Correct your spelling
today
people
 are getting even
more busy
Replace the words
busier
show examples
 and rarely find a chance to meet each other.
These kind
Change the determiner
This kind
These kinds
show examples
 of
celebration
 used to be simple and friendly
however
people
seems
Change the verb form
seem
show examples
 to forget why they gather around and the
progress
Correct your spelling
process
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 setting up a
celebration
 got complicated. In the essay below, I’ll talk about some of these problems, reasons and solutions
according to
 my knowledge.
To begin
 with, the most common problem
people
 might face in the
progress
Correct your spelling
process
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 setting up a
celebration
,
such
 as weddings or even birthdays could be their budget. Of
course
Add a comma
course,
show examples
 the price of renting a place, dress, food and other
things
 which it's necessary are high but it seems
people
 are trying to compare themselves
whit
Correct your spelling
with
show examples
 others, so they try to celebrate their
event
 in the most
luxury
Replace the word
luxurious
show examples
 way
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 can. But most of their guests
wont
Add an apostrophe
won't
show examples
 be
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
event
Correct article usage
the event
show examples
 on
time
 or even remember the
event
 for
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
. The price would be even higher because of
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
 and date of the
celebration
. For, example in my
countrys
Correct your spelling
country
country's
people
 are really interested in celebrating their wedding
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 special days like aid or some specific holidays so related companies would put higher prices
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 those days for sure.
From
Change preposition
In
show examples
 my view,
half
 of the
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
 for
this
 problem is up to
people
 . for, example not to compare themselves with others or try to celebrate more simply
how
Rephrase
apply
show examples
ever
Rephrase
However
show examples
 the prices and more
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
 are inevitable and
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 out of our
hand
Fix the agreement mistake
hands
show examples
 to control the prices , but it can
be reminded
Wrong verb form
remind
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
 how to celebrate
simple
Change the word
simply
show examples
 or avoid unnecessary costs by media . Another problem
people
 might face during the
celebration
 or progress of
setting
Correct article usage
the setting
show examples
 is stress or an argument between the hosts. Setting up a large
celebration
 needs enormous
things
such
 as
time
, money,
things
 needed to
be prepare
Change the verb form
be prepared
show examples
 like food, place, drink, dress, inviting guests, music and other
things
. It's usually normal to forget about some of them or not
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 enough
time
 for all of them and it may cause
argument
Fix the agreement mistake
arguments
show examples
 or stress for hosts.
How ever
Correct your spelling
However
show examples
 the solution is simple,
people
 can set up a plan or even make themselves a list of
things
 and do it in order or split it between themselves.
To conclude
, in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
opinion,
show examples
half
 of the reasons for every
problems
Change to a singular noun
problem
show examples
 during the
celebration
 are inevitable
however
 the other
half
 is up to us and how we manage the
event
also
 I think
this
half
 can help a lot
reducing
Change preposition
in reducing
show examples
 the problems.
In
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 I hope
people
 remember how we used to celebrate in
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
whitoutbeing
Correct your spelling
whiteout being
 fancy but friendly
Submitted by negarqaemi24 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: