Some people think that good health is very important to everyone so medical service should not be run by profit- making companies. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh the disadvantages.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The welfare lifestyle is so significant to live our life long. Yet, there remains some disagreement as to whether the overall effect of these private corporations has been positive or negative. While there are certainly valid arguments to the contrary,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
personally believe that the benefits of private
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
far outweigh its drawbacks these benefits are twofold
First
Linking Words
of all, it is an indisputable fact that the companies operate the medical service privately, the clients might have a high quality of
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
because
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
runs the private elevated service for the patients. As everyone knows, paying lots of money might give back a good result.
Thus
Linking Words
, the customers of the companies might be given satisfied
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
when the policy is run by the profit-making organizations.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some disservices when some companies do not treat the medical
care
Use synonyms
when
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
runs the private
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
all individuals have to pay more prices for tax because
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
would need money to conserve
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
as well-being.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it obligates taking a long time because all
people
Use synonyms
inclined
Add a missing verb
are inclined
show examples
to take the service step by step.
For instance
Linking Words
, most
people
Use synonyms
would agree that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
old
people
Use synonyms
who suffer from illness would be inceptive patients to take a treatment and
then
Linking Words
young
people
Use synonyms
may have the late process. So the
government
Use synonyms
has to offer
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
plans for all
people
Use synonyms
equally. By way of conclusion, in spite of the fact that some advantages of the medical services
owning
Wrong verb form
owned
show examples
by the
corparations
Correct your spelling
corporations
corporation
are
required
Add a comma
,required
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
must be not handled by them. Because all citizens desire to have equal chances.
Submitted by asqar4997 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: