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Band 5.5

inspite of new advances made in the agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. why is this the case? what can be done about this problem?

#inspite #advances #agriculture #people #world #case
In the modern
world
, agriculture is a
fast developing
Add a hyphen
fast-developing
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 field.
Involvement
Correct article usage
The involvement
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 of new technology has improved the quality of seeds and plants which has led to good harvests.
in addition
, new methods of storing and delivering have increased the availability of the products. Despite all these, unfortunately, people in some parts of the
world
 still suffer from hunger. There are many reasons for the unavailability of
food
 in some
countries
. One is the unequal distribution of
food
 throughout the
world
.
For example
, developed
countries
 produce large amounts of wheat per year but they do not share the excess amount with other
countries
 as they want to keep the market value high. Another reason is the limited resources
such
 as water and good weather which make it impossible to continue growing plants.
Moreover
, in some
countries
, people do not have the new technology to have good crops and
also
 the younger generation has abandoned the field of agriculture to seek better jobs. one possible solution to overcome the
above mentioned
Add a hyphen
above-mentioned
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 issues is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 the affected
countries
 need to analyze and identify
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 issues which cause hunger and try to solve them.
For example
, areas with poor weather conditions can identify the crops that a suitable for their region and grow them. Another successful option is looking for different
food
 sources
such
 as meat and fish.
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
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 the
world
 can help these nations by sharing their excess
food
, new technology and knowledge. In conclusion, though part of the
world
Change noun form
world's
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 population
suffer
Change the verb form
suffers
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 from
inadequate
Add an article
the inadequate
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food
 supply, there are many options available to overcome
this
 problem.
Submitted by subhasamudri on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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