Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #illness #disease #governments #focus #pollution

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It is argued that in order to avoid illness and disease, higher authorities ought to focus more on

minimize

Wrong verb form

minimising

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

environmental

pollution

Use synonyms

and housing issues. I agree with

this

Linking Words

notion. In the forthcoming

paragaraphs

Correct your spelling

paragraphs

, I will discuss my point

Change preposition

apply

show examples

with relevant epitome. To commence with, there is no doubt that the major

reasons

Fix the agreement mistake

reason

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

spreading disease

Change the verb form

are

show examples

pollution

Use synonyms

In other words

Linking Words

, due to industrial factories and vehicles, hazardous gases have

spreaded

Correct your spelling

spread

all over which affects directly the health of the peoples. They might

be diagnose

Change the verb form

be diagnosed

show examples

with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

harmful diseases

such

Linking Words

as Asthma and various respiratory diseases.

For instance

Linking Words

Remove the article

apply

show examples

recent

forcast

Correct your spelling

forecast

demonstrate

Correct subject-verb agreement

demonstrates

show examples

that the air quality of Delhi is 385 which is no doubt considered very poor.

Moreover

Linking Words

, due to the increment in the number of cars on road not only

pollution

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is increase

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is increasing

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

it becomes

the

Correct article usage

show examples

serious life threat to

humans

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human

show examples

life.

Thus

Linking Words

, reducing

environment

Replace the word

environmental

show examples

pollution

Use synonyms

should be the

first

Linking Words

priority of the government.

Besides

Linking Words

, it is undeniable that there is a huge gap between the demand and supply of houses nowadays which leads to

growth

Correct article usage

the growth

show examples

of slums in cities. To elaborate, due to less availability of

residence

Fix the agreement mistake

residences

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, individuals

forced

Add a missing verb

are forced

show examples

to live in slums which are not

hygenic

Correct your spelling

hygienic

, and

also

Linking Words

there are no sanitation facilities for drainage

system

Fix the agreement mistake

systems

show examples

and garbage disposal.

Consequently

Linking Words

people

Change noun form

people's

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health might affect.

Therefore

Linking Words

, if people have provided adequate housing facilities, the possibility of illness would be overcome. In conclusion, I believe that government should

concenrate

Correct your spelling

concentrate

pollution

Use synonyms

and housing concerns due to

widerspread

Correct your spelling

widespread

show examples

gases and smoke which would become

severe

Add an article

a severe

show examples

problem for

humans

Change the noun form

human

show examples

health and

also

Linking Words

sufficient homes should

constructed

Change the verb form

construct

show examples

Submitted by priyankagill824 on Thu Jan 05 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

preventive healthcare
environmental regulations
respiratory diseases
public health policies
sanitation facilities
urban planning
communicable diseases
socio-economic factors
sustainable development
government intervention
healthcare infrastructure
industrial emissions
air quality index
affordable housing
mental wellbeing

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Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some parts of the world, many famous people are regarded as 'role models' and they are having an increasing influence on the young. Is that a positive or negative development?

Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health, others believe that government should make sure that their are healthy.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries fast food restaurants and supermarket gives money to schools to promote their products. Do you think this is a positive or negative development.

It is important for people to take a risk both in their professional lives and in their personal lives. Do the advantages of taking risks outweight the disadvantages?