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Band 6

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work fro differnet organisations.Discuss bith the views and give your own opinion.

#people #work #organisation #life #differnet #organisations #bith
It is seen that many individuals believe in working and contributing to the same
company
 for their whole life.
On the contrary
, there is a school of thought that holds the opinion
of
Change preposition
that
show examples
 working for several distinct organizations is more beneficial.
This
 essay will examine both opinions, whilst agreeing that being employed by various companies throughout your lifetime is seemingly better. It cannot be denied that dedicating your entire work life towards one
company
 has many advantages. Employees that do so build up the trust of their organization.
This
 may lead to better opportunities and incentives that are provided by the organization.
Moreover
, the work ethics and culture of the organization would be apparent.
Hence
, an employee would get comfortable with their environment and
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 co-workers, leaving no room for constant change.
On the other hand
, shifting from one workplace to another has its own gains too. Changing companies often results in acquiring a better position, pay and incentives. It is vastly observed in the finance and technological industries that the pay scale is increased when employees switch to another
company
.
Additionally
, there is a change of atmosphere which leads to the growth of the individual,
hence
 providing a plethora of
new found
Correct your spelling
newfound
show examples
 opportunities. The person in place
also
 learns about different ways to employ during work,
various
Correct word choice
and various
show examples
company
 cultures and has the chance to socialize with a wide range of people leading to an increase in their professional connections. In conclusion, having the experience of working in various organizations is undeniably helpful as it provides an individual with opportunities to grow, leading to higher productivity levels.
This
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
change contributes towards the elevation of the person and the community as a whole.
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task achievement
While you have addressed both perspectives, providing more specific examples would strengthen your arguments. For instance, mentioning particular industries or job roles where changing companies is especially beneficial can make your points more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph sticks to one main idea to enhance clarity. For instance, if discussing company loyalty in one paragraph, avoid mentioning the potential disadvantages in the same one. Similarly, keep all benefits of switching jobs in a separate, focused paragraph.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument well. The introduction succinctly sets up the topic, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your stance.
task achievement
You've presented a balanced view by discussing the advantages of both staying with one organization and switching between different ones. This thorough approach shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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