Some people think that having people from different nationalities and cultural backgrounds living together in the same country makes the country develop faster . Do you agree

It is not exaggerated to say that we are living in the era of a highly competitive world in which the majority of public-private sectors stressing
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
advertising industrialization as a beneficial
mean
Replace the word
means
show examples
to stimulate more consumers have been dramatically booming. There
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
a huge range of viable reasons for
this
which will be discussed now On the one hand, it must be often said that nowadays trading campaigns tend to make good use of marketing departures to introduce commodities
widespreadly
Correct your spelling
widespread
thanks to their potential profits. An illustration of
this
would be
aware
Replace the word
awareness
show examples
of indispensable items not being outdated, contributing to reputation improvements.
Furthermore
, these companies are capable of building up their prestigious imagines through commercial projects in order that a lot of buyers will have an access to qualified products, and
thus
it is leading to reducing low-standard goods which may afflict people’s health
Conversely
, it is obviously agreed that there has been a variety of lucrative elements in commercials. When it comes to purchasing stride, the more products consumed, the more profits that businesses acquire.
Therefore
, these entrepreneurs are certainly able to obtain various contracts as well as beneficial transactions globally
then
, resulting in enhancing economic prospects in a nation or even creating more job opportunities tackling unemployment issues as well Taking everything into consideration, it is unacceptable to deny that the advertising market plays a paramount influence on trading companies ( in financial/ aspects).
However
, the same environmental deterioration downsides affecting the biosphere and ecosystem should be regarded at least as severe owning to
overmanufacturing
Correct your spelling
over manufacturing
cover manufacturing
problems
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: