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Writing Samples
Band 8

International tourism has become a huge industry in the world. Are the problems that international travelers cause greater than the advantages they bring? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own Knowledge or experience.

#tourism #industry #world #travelers
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The past 50 years have seen a dramatic increase in international
tourism
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 globally. Despite the undeniable economic prosperity it has brought to many
host
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countries
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, I intend to argue that the
overall
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 impact of international holiday-making has in fact been negative. The reasons for
this
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 are as follows. First of all, it is an undeniable fact that international holiday-making promotes many negative aspects of Western culture in
host
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countries
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. Since it is only the affluent people in developing
countries
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 who can afford to travel abroad, undeveloped nations like Thailand and Indonesia have become the playground of tourists from other
countries
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.
As a result
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, the influx of tourists from Western nations has brought with it problems
such
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 as drug abuse, alcoholism and prostitution. So, if governments wish to be less vulnerable, greater regulation of international
tourism
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 is required.
Secondly
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 and even more importantly, though, is the environmental degradation that international
tourism
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 has brought to many
host
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countries
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.
Although
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 international
tourism
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 has been accompanied by new employment opportunities and economic growth in many
host
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 nations
consequently
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, it has caused significant damage to the environment and all of the ecosystem in it. A salient example of
this
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 is Maldives Island where countless divers, boats and ships have disrupted the marine ecosystem of the Atlas Ocean, causing significant damage to the marinal creatures. By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that the drawbacks of international
tourism
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 far outweigh its benefits.
Nonetheless
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, I believe that launching educational campaigns in tourist resorts and hotels could diminish
such
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 harm considerably
Submitted by golriiz.azizi1991 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Consider refining the transition between paragraphs to maintain a smooth flow of ideas.
Task Achievement
Expand on examples to provide more detailed support for your points.
Task Achievement
Ensure consistent use of specific evidence to back up assertions.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clear structure with a strong introduction and conclusion.
Task Achievement
The essay thoroughly addresses both advantages and disadvantages, presenting a balanced view.
Task Achievement
Relevant real-world examples illustrate the arguments effectively.
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