More and more people are working from rather than at the workplace. Some people say this will bring benefits to the workers and their families, but others think it will bring stress to the home. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

More and more human beings
work
from
home
rather than at the office. Some citizens have an opinion it can be beneficial to the workers and their families.
Nevertheless
, others have a point of view it can bring strain to the
home
.
Although
working from
home
is trending right now, it is flexible and helps family members.
However
, I firmly believe, there are many drawbacks that
likewise
bring pressure and lack of focus to finish the project. On the one hand,
people
are working at
home
which is more flexible than at the office.
However
, they are working from
home
and focusing without preparing to go to jobs.
in other words
, they are not to control the owner but they are responsible for finishing the project on
time
.
As a result
, it is more easy to handle
work
than they must go to the company.
On the other hand
, a drawback is that
people
work
at
home
. First of all, it brings stress.
However
, they are disturbed by duty family,
for instance
, their wife or parents call them to buy something during their
work
at
home
, which causes
time
and loss of concentration.
Consequently
, their jobs are not finished on
time
.
Finally
, in my opinion, even though there are some benefits to working at
home
,
such
as it is flexibility and helping family members.
Nevertheless
, there are disadvantages for society,
for example
, it can bring stress because of duty homework can disturb them.
Therefore
, job occupations are not finished to follow the target. so that I recommend
people
should be working at the office to minimize disturbing from outside.
To sum up
. some positive
work
at
home
which is
people
can help their families and it is more flexible, but there are some negative impacts that bring
stressfully
Replace the word
stress
show examples
, and less focus are
people
do it because of many duties at
home
at the same
time
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear response to the task, but there are areas where it could be expanded for more clarity. Try to give more relevant and specific examples to support your points.
task achievement
The ideas are generally clear but could benefit from further development. Ensure each main point has detailed explanation and examples for stronger support.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of your essay. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next with clear linking words and phrases.
coherence cohesion
There were some organizational issues. Make sure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence and stays focused on that main idea throughout.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both views as required by the prompt, which is excellent.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps structure your essay well.
task achievement
There was a good attempt to provide reasons and examples to support your points, showing a good grasp of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • telecommuting
  • remote work
  • work-life balance
  • flexible schedule
  • overhead costs
  • commuting
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • isolation
  • team cohesion
  • domestic responsibilities
  • work attire
  • financial savings
  • blurred boundaries
  • mental health
  • social interaction
  • downsizing
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