IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think reading stories in books is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #stories #books #tv #computer #games #children
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People have differing views with regard to the question of what is the best way for
children
 to spend their time. In my view, though it might
seems
Change the verb form
seem
show examples
 more entertaining for
children
 to watch shows or play video
games
, reading
books
 is a much better option. It is true that tv episodes or computer
games
 are more attractive with vivid visual
affects
Replace the word
effects
show examples
 and astonishing sound
affects
Correct your spelling
effects
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.
However
,
children
 would easily lose
interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
show examples
 in pursuing academic performance because it is too easy to
lost
Change the form of the verb
lose
show examples
 time in them. Even worse, studies show that
children
 who play competitive
games
such
 as
gun shot
Correct your spelling
gunshot
show examples
games
, tend to become more aggressive towards others. It means youngsters might have wrong attitudes towards the world and lack appropriate social skills, which play important roles in their adulthood and future career.
On the contrary
, reading physical
books
 have various positive impacts on
children
.
First
 of all, reading stories book cultivates
children
’s linguistic skills which
is
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are
show examples
 crucial for their academic performance.
Children
 will be able to learn new vocabulary, grammar and even how to composite sentences by readying.
Secondly
, students gain much more comprehensive knowledge about a certain subject
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
 digital media tends to boost people’s attention with the most catchy point without
in-depth
Correct article usage
an in-depth
show examples
 explanation.
Finally
,
children
 tend to learn faster and remember things more clearly with
less
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fewer
show examples
 distractions when
read
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reading
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 hardcopy
books
. It is difficult even for adults to stay
focus
Wrong verb form
focused
show examples
, and it would be worse for
children
 who have less self-control. Compared with staring at digital screens with notifications popping up all over the place, holding a physical book makes concentration much easier.
As a result
,
children
 can put all their attention
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the content itself. To conclude, there are more benefits for
children
 to spend time
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
reading
books
 rather than watching tv or playing digital
games
. It would be beneficial to take active measures to encourage
children
 to read more.
Submitted by yokoyoko.ye on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • imagination
  • creativity
  • visualize
  • deeper understanding
  • language comprehension
  • critical thinking
  • empathy
  • perspectives
  • emotional benefits
  • concentration
  • attention span
  • cognitive development
  • educational programs
  • interactive
  • stimulate
  • relaxation
  • reduce stress
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