IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think reading stories in books is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #stories #books #tv #computer #games #children
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People have differing views with regard to the question of what is the best way for
children
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 to spend their time. In my view, though it might
seems
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seem
show examples
 more entertaining for
children
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 to watch shows or play video
games
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, reading
books
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 is a much better option. It is true that tv episodes or computer
games
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 are more attractive with vivid visual
affects
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effects
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 and astonishing sound
affects
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effects
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.
However
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,
children
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 would easily lose
interests
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interest
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 in pursuing academic performance because it is too easy to
lost
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lose
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 time in them. Even worse, studies show that
children
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 who play competitive
games
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such
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 as
gun shot
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gunshot
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games
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, tend to become more aggressive towards others. It means youngsters might have wrong attitudes towards the world and lack appropriate social skills, which play important roles in their adulthood and future career.
On the contrary
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, reading physical
books
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 have various positive impacts on
children
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.
First
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 of all, reading stories book cultivates
children
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’s linguistic skills which
is
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are
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 crucial for their academic performance.
Children
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 will be able to learn new vocabulary, grammar and even how to composite sentences by readying.
Secondly
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, students gain much more comprehensive knowledge about a certain subject
where as
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whereas
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 digital media tends to boost people’s attention with the most catchy point without
in-depth
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an in-depth
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 explanation.
Finally
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,
children
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 tend to learn faster and remember things more clearly with
less
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fewer
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 distractions when
read
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reading
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 hardcopy
books
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. It is difficult even for adults to stay
focus
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focused
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, and it would be worse for
children
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 who have less self-control. Compared with staring at digital screens with notifications popping up all over the place, holding a physical book makes concentration much easier.
As a result
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,
children
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 can put all their attention
to
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on
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 the content itself. To conclude, there are more benefits for
children
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 to spend time
on
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apply
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reading
books
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 rather than watching tv or playing digital
games
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. It would be beneficial to take active measures to encourage
children
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 to read more.
Submitted by yokoyoko.ye on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • imagination
  • creativity
  • visualize
  • deeper understanding
  • language comprehension
  • critical thinking
  • empathy
  • perspectives
  • emotional benefits
  • concentration
  • attention span
  • cognitive development
  • educational programs
  • interactive
  • stimulate
  • relaxation
  • reduce stress
What to do next:
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