Many people believe that family has greater influence in child life and development as compared to other factors such as friends, tv, music and so on? Do you agree or disagree with the content ?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Most people assume that family has much more influence on the young generation's life and development as compared to other factors
such
as
friends
,
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
, music and so on.
Moreover
, they believe that in our modern-day family is the most crucial thing that we have to be influenced
.
Change preposition
by.
show examples
Personally, I agree with the statement that family has greater influence than close
friends
, music and social media. It is true that today many
children
, who have been influenced by their
friends
and social media are getting spoiled, but
this
is not the fact that
this
child has a good family.
Although
, most psychological illnesses in
children
are
due to
family problems.
For instance
, low scores in school, communication problems with others and so on.
As a result
, youngsters can't build their own families after growing up.
However
, being part of a healthy family and having good folks, never leads to issues with crime and communication with others.
This
is because of the parents that take care of their
children
and are aware of their child's education.
For example
, family meetings at the school help parents to understand what their kids are dealing with. Eventually,
children
with good parents are never influenced by
friends
,
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
and social media. In conclusion, I believe that family has more influence than
friends
,
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
, and music because a supporting family never let its members feel any pressure.
Therefore
, our folks help us to become a part of
this
society and to be mature enough to understand the meaning of the family.
Submitted by sherzod5574485 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your main points are well supported throughout the essay to improve coherence and cohesion.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: