IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#country #health #service #treatments
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Health
Use synonyms
 should be the prime responsibility
for
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of
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 the government in any nation. All countries are required to provide free
health
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 and
treatment
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 services to their citizens, even if some of the expensive treatments are unavailable. From my perspective, I believe that medical facilities must be available to everyone because it is an essential right.
First
Linking Words
 of all, I believe that
health
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 is important for everyone and all
persons
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people
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 want to be alive, even if they are not capable to pay for medical processors. There is
a
Correct article usage
apply
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majority of
people
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who
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apply
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are below the poverty line and they cannot afford expensive medicine.
In other words
Linking Words
,
health
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 authorities should provide affordable
treatment
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 for poor patients.
For instance
Linking Words
, in the USA citizens whose income is less than 10,000$ per year are provided with completely free medicine. Another reason is that there are few treatments, which are too expensive for
ministry
Correct article usage
the ministry
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 to make available to
people
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 for free use.
However
Linking Words
, there are a large
amount
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number
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 of
people
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 who are willing to donate money to treat serious diseases
such
Linking Words
 as cancer.
Additionally
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
case
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,case
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 it would be the right decision for the Ministry of
Health
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 to cooperate with them.
For example
Linking Words
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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in
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apply
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Australia
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,Australia
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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medical
treatment
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 is super expensive for temporary
residences
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residents
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, but when someone falls sick due to any dangerous disease,
then
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 start putting posts on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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social media to raise
a
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apply
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charity. In conclusion, I strongly believe that
a
Correct article usage
apply
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free medical
treatment
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 should be the right of every individual
in
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apply
show examples
all around the world because
health
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 is
an
Change the article
apply
show examples
extremely crucial for all of us.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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