IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Children usually want to play the same games and watch the same tv programs as their friends. Should Parents allow it or not? Give your opinion and examples from your experience.

#children #games #tv #programs #friends #parents
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Children tend to have similar interests among their friends as they
Add the particle
towant
show examples
want
Correct your spelling
won't
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 get along well with the rest of the group. I quite agree that parents should let their child watch and play
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the same content as others. In
this
 essay, my opinion toward
this
 view will be explained.
Firstly
, it is all about freedom. Even
they
Correct word choice
though they
show examples
 might not be mature enough to screen what is good or bad for
self
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
, the
kid
 should have his own rights trial and error. As so, prohibiting them from watching TV programs or playing games based on their preferences, even influenced by classmates, is a kind of blocking the freedom. Paying
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
close attention to the activities the loved one is interested in could help to screen and guide point out
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
inappropriate actions as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fundamental
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
.
Moreover
, stopping the
kid
 from those activities
such
 as gaming, enjoying movies, or
another activity
Fix the agreement mistake
other activities
show examples
 can lead to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of self-confidence in the future.
In addition
, they do not understand any discussion related to TV programs or games among their friends so it automatically makes the young feel left out
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the group and
perceive
Change the verb form
perceives
show examples
 that they cannot get along well with pupils. In the end, they might end up facing an anti-socializing issue. In conclusion, parents should not block their
kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
show examples
 from the activities they are paying attention to. It is the
kid
's right to choose and
also
 it can bring negative feedback to them in the future.
Submitted by minichariie on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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