IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people claim that what people eat in many Western countries is unhealthy and that their diet is getting worse .Critics say that these countries should change their diet. What are your opinion on this?

#people #countries #diet #critics #change
In the modern era , there are so many things to eat as well as enjoy to their
taste
. Few
masses
 think that those folk living in the overseas
nation
 do not have a proper
diet
 in their daily routines, whereas
others
 are against
this
 notion . I totally agree with the latter view and will discuss it in the upcoming paragraphs .
To begin
 with,
that is
 why individuals think the
diet
 of foreign
people
 is not well and good .
First
Correct article usage
The first
show examples
 and foremost reason is
masses
 believe the their own
nation
Change noun form
nation's
show examples
diet
 is totally effective for everyone and sometimes they do not have the
taste
 of another
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
food
 as well as if they try abroad
food
then
 may they dislike the
taste
 because nobody says that other
nation
Replace the word
national
show examples
food
 is better in compersion their own
country
 .
Furthermore
 , sometimes folks do not have enough knowledge about the culture
food
 of
others
 and they just judge the
food
 by its photos as well as
then
 they never like to
taste
food
Add an article
the food
show examples
 of other
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
 as compared to their
country
 .
For example
 , in the year , 2010 a survey conducted by UNO which was indicating about the percentage of
food
 judging
people
 from their photos , which was 70 % .
On the other hand
 , everyone has their cultural eating
habits
 if anybody says wrong about any other
nation
Change noun form
nation's
show examples
food
habits
then
 it will be a reason for fighting and maybe the
nation
 start wars against
others
 because nobody wants to insult their cultural
habits
 and lifestyle . In my opinion , it's not a good way to show low down other
country
food
 because if they do not say anything about
others
Correct pronoun usage
other
show examples
nation
 lifestyle
then
 who are those
masses
 can talk about their
food
habits
.
Moreover
, if anybody does not have proper knowledge about other
nation
's
diet
Fix the agreement mistake
diets
show examples
then
 I think it must be searched by
masses
first
 about their
diet
then
 collect the results about
diet
 .
For instance
,
people
 say if the cultural values are the same
then
 how individuals are located by their different thinks of
others
 and learn new things from other parts of the world . In conclusion, if
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
show examples
 try to
taste
 other
nation
food
then
 it is a better way to think about
food
habits
 and they must understand the reason why other
nation
people
 love their
food
 .
Submitted by gurkiratbadesha36 on

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