The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with health issue involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in school curriculum. To what extent you agree or dis agree?
In the modern era, the number of obesity among people has dramatically increased, which contribute to more workload for
public
health organization. Some people believe that the promising Add an article
the public
strategie
to decrease Correct your spelling
strategies
strategy
this
disastrous condition is to put physical program
more seriously in Fix the agreement mistake
programs
school
. In Fix the agreement mistake
schools
this
essay, the reason to support my agreement to
the view will be presented in the following paragraphs.
In the effort to tackle the problems, Change preposition
with
school
needs to provide the proper knowledge Add an article
the school
a school
raise
awareness among students about the Fix the infinitive
to raise
deletrimental
Correct your spelling
detrimental
consequneces
of obesity, which can worsen their life by making them ugly, Correct your spelling
consequences
consequence
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
cause
Add an article
the cause
a cause
of
various illnesses Change preposition
apply
such
as high blood pressure, diabetes, heart attacks, respiratory problems, and many more. After that, teachers can educate children how
to exercise and how to choose what to consume for Change preposition
on how
healthy
life. Add an article
a healthy
For example
, instead
of drinking soft drinks, which contains
Correct subject-verb agreement
contain
high
amount of sugar and calories, teachers can urge them to Add an article
a high
drinks
diet coke Wrong verb form
drink
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
provide
Change the verb form
provides
similar
taste, but no calories. Correct article usage
a similar
By
Change preposition
In
this
way, children can make cleaver
Correct your spelling
clever
dicision
to eat.
Correct your spelling
decisions
Secondly
, increasing time in physical education can encourage students to reduce their weight. Because they have more time to play sport
with their friends and move Fix the agreement mistake
sports
thier
body Correct your spelling
their
instead
of sitting in the
class, they burn more calories and eventually Correct article usage
apply
lossing
weight. Correct your spelling
losing
loosing
Moreover
, playing sport
is not only good for physical healthFix the agreement mistake
sports
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
mental health as it acts as relaxing activities
. Fix the agreement mistake
activity
For instance
, exercise can relief
the stress from Replace the word
relieve
drudgery
and monotony Correct article usage
the drudgery
life
. Change preposition
of life
Therefore
, more period for PE class is reccommended
in every school to make pupils happy.
In conclusion, adding more time Correct your spelling
recommended
for
Change preposition
to
sport
Correct article usage
the sport
cirriculum
have various benefits Correct your spelling
curriculum
to
children including Change preposition
for
reduce
the risks of Change the verb form
reducing
being
severe sicknesses, and Unnecessary verb
apply
anxiousity
among students. Presumably, I strongly agree that Correct your spelling
anxiously
anxious
this
model should be implemented in all schools.Submitted by chutirat.work on
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Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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