The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with health issue involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in school curriculum. To what extent you agree or dis agree?

In the modern era, the number of obesity among people has dramatically increased, which contribute to more workload for
public
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the public
show examples
health organization. Some people believe that the promising
strategie
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strategies
strategy
to decrease
this
disastrous condition is to put physical
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
more seriously in
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
. In
this
essay, the reason to support my agreement
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
the view will be presented in the following paragraphs. In the effort to tackle the problems,
school
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the school
a school
show examples
needs to provide the proper knowledge
raise
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to raise
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awareness among students about the
deletrimental
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detrimental
consequneces
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consequences
consequence
of obesity, which can worsen their life by making them ugly,
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
cause
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the cause
a cause
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of
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apply
show examples
various illnesses
such
as high blood pressure, diabetes, heart attacks, respiratory problems, and many more. After that, teachers can educate children
how
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on how
show examples
to exercise and how to choose what to consume for
healthy
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a healthy
show examples
life.
For example
,
instead
of drinking soft drinks, which
contains
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contain
show examples
high
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a high
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amount of sugar and calories, teachers can urge them to
drinks
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drink
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diet coke
that
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which
show examples
provide
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provides
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similar
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a similar
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taste, but no calories.
By
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In
show examples
this
way, children can make
cleaver
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clever
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dicision
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decisions
to eat.
Secondly
, increasing time in physical education can encourage students to reduce their weight. Because they have more time to play
sport
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sports
show examples
with their friends and move
thier
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their
body
instead
of sitting in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
class, they burn more calories and eventually
lossing
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losing
loosing
weight.
Moreover
, playing
sport
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sports
show examples
is not only good for physical health
,
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apply
show examples
but
also
mental health as it acts as relaxing
activities
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activity
show examples
.
For instance
, exercise can
relief
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relieve
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the stress from
drudgery
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the drudgery
show examples
and monotony
life
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of life
show examples
.
Therefore
, more period for PE class is
reccommended
Correct your spelling
recommended
in every school to make pupils happy. In conclusion, adding more time
for
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to
show examples
sport
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the sport
show examples
cirriculum
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curriculum
have various benefits
to
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for
show examples
children including
reduce
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reducing
show examples
the risks of
being
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apply
show examples
severe sicknesses, and
anxiousity
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anxiously
anxious
among students. Presumably, I strongly agree that
this
model should be implemented in all schools.
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Your opinion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • strain on the health care system
  • introduce
  • physical education
  • curriculum
  • overweight
  • nutrition
  • balanced diet
  • obesity-related diseases
  • genetic factors
  • socioeconomic status
  • reevaluation
  • academic priorities
  • holistic approach
  • public health policies
  • community support
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