IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people like to work in company which offer high salaries, other prefer working in a company which offer good working atmosphere. What do you think. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There are many leading software firms in the present generation. Even, other industries use different software databases to protect
customers
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customers'
customer's
show examples
 data. A lot of
people
Use synonyms
 tend to
work
Use synonyms
 in
company
Add an article
a company
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 that offers huge salaries
where
Correct word choice
whereas
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 some prefer working that yields
good
Correct article usage
a good
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 working atmosphere. In my opinion, I personally agree that everyone
want
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wants
show examples
 to
work
Use synonyms
 with a company which offers
salary
Correct article usage
a salary
show examples
 bonus. On the one hand, each member is very enthusiastic to
work
Use synonyms
 for an organization that paves to high increment in their career. For that
people
Use synonyms
 have to gain experience individually step by step in knowing all
loop holes
Correct your spelling
loopholes
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, if any issue arises on solving them efficiently.
For instance
Linking Words
, client data must be secured from a hacker with encryption keys
consists
Wrong verb form
consisting
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 of alphabets, numbers and special symbols that
stores
Add a missing verb
are stores
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 in google cloud azure.
Linking Words
Further more
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Furthermore
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, becoming a team leader plays
pivotal
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a pivotal
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 role in explaining various elements of a robotic project to new
joinees
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joiners
for
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to
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 attaining practical knowledge that gradually
show
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shows
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 salary increment for them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, active learners are very zeal to
work
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 in
good
Add an article
a good
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 atmosphere with the help of others. They believe environmental conditions might contribute
success
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to success
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 for them in what type of
work
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 they are doing.
For example
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, audience attention is on one person who is giving
speech
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a speech
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 rather than a group presentation.
In addition
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to
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apply
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,
people
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 who adopted to
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work
Wrong verb form
working
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 with multiple persons will not lead
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
success every time.
Thus
Linking Words
, working in
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 environment will give results but not effectively
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 the mark. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
 tend to
work
Use synonyms
 individually in habituating a new skill which
enhance
Change the verb form
enhances
show examples
 their
mind set
Correct your spelling
mindset
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 resulting in better career and high salary.
Therefore
Linking Words
, learning is an evolution that should be done as
an
Change the article
a
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 sole learner which leads to
reach
Change the verb form
reaching
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 the target.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial stability
  • advancement
  • sacrifice
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • employee well-being
  • team collaboration
  • innovation
  • retain
  • long-term career success
  • skilled workers
  • professional growth
  • work-life harmony
  • positive atmosphere
  • supportive culture
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