Some people like to work in company which offer high salaries, other prefer working in a company which offer good working atmosphere. What do you think. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There are many leading software firms in the present generation. Even, other industries use different software databases to protect
customers
Change noun form
customers'
customer's
show examples
data. A lot of
people
tend to
work
in
company
Add an article
a company
show examples
that offers huge salaries
where
Correct word choice
whereas
show examples
some prefer working that yields
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
working atmosphere. In my opinion, I personally agree that everyone
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
to
work
with a company which offers
salary
Correct article usage
a salary
show examples
bonus. On the one hand, each member is very enthusiastic to
work
for an organization that paves to high increment in their career. For that
people
have to gain experience individually step by step in knowing all
loop holes
Correct your spelling
loopholes
show examples
, if any issue arises on solving them efficiently.
For instance
, client data must be secured from a hacker with encryption keys
consists
Wrong verb form
consisting
show examples
of alphabets, numbers and special symbols that
stores
Add a missing verb
are stores
show examples
in google cloud azure.
Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
show examples
, becoming a team leader plays
pivotal
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a pivotal
show examples
role in explaining various elements of a robotic project to new
joinees
Correct your spelling
joiners
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
attaining practical knowledge that gradually
show
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shows
show examples
salary increment for them.
On the other hand
, active learners are very zeal to
work
in
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
atmosphere with the help of others. They believe environmental conditions might contribute
success
Change preposition
to success
show examples
for them in what type of
work
they are doing.
For example
, audience attention is on one person who is giving
speech
Add an article
a speech
show examples
rather than a group presentation.
In addition
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,
people
who adopted to
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
with multiple persons will not lead
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
success every time.
Thus
, working in
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
environment will give results but not effectively
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
the mark. In conclusion,
people
tend to
work
individually in habituating a new skill which
enhance
Change the verb form
enhances
show examples
their
mind set
Correct your spelling
mindset
show examples
resulting in better career and high salary.
Therefore
, learning is an evolution that should be done as
an
Change the article
a
show examples
sole learner which leads to
reach
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reaching
show examples
the target.
Submitted by saravananadduri3 on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial stability
  • advancement
  • sacrifice
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • employee well-being
  • team collaboration
  • innovation
  • retain
  • long-term career success
  • skilled workers
  • professional growth
  • work-life harmony
  • positive atmosphere
  • supportive culture
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