Some people like to work in company which offer high salaries, other prefer working in a company which offer good working atmosphere. What do you think. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There are many leading software firms in the present generation. Even, other industries use different software databases to protect
customers
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customers'
customer's

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data. A lot of
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

tend to
work
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in
company
Add an article
a company

The noun phrase company seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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that offers huge salaries
where
Correct word choice
whereas

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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some prefer working that yields
good
Correct article usage
a good

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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working atmosphere. In my opinion, I personally agree that everyone
want
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wants

It appears that the indefinite pronoun everyone does not agree with the verb want in your sentence. Consider changing the form of the verb.

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to
work
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

with a company which offers
salary
Correct article usage
a salary

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bonus. On the one hand, each member is very enthusiastic to
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for an organization that paves to high increment in their career. For that
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have to gain experience individually step by step in knowing all
loop holes
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loopholes

The word loop holes seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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, if any issue arises on solving them efficiently.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, client data must be secured from a hacker with encryption keys
consists
Wrong verb form
consisting

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb consists. Consider changing it.

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of alphabets, numbers and special symbols that
stores
Add a missing verb
are stores

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in google cloud azure.
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore

The word Further more seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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, becoming a team leader plays
pivotal
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a pivotal

The noun phrase pivotal role seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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role in explaining various elements of a robotic project to new
joinees
Correct your spelling
joiners

If you don’t want joinees to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

for
Change preposition
to

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attaining practical knowledge that gradually
show
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shows

The plural verb show does not appear to agree with the singular subject practical knowledge. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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salary increment for them.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, active learners are very zeal to
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in
good
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a good

The noun phrase good atmosphere seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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atmosphere with the help of others. They believe environmental conditions might contribute
success
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to success

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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for them in what type of
work
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

they are doing.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, audience attention is on one person who is giving
speech
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a speech

The noun phrase speech seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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rather than a group presentation.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

to
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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,
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who adopted to
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

work
Wrong verb form
working

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb work. Consider changing it.

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with multiple persons will not lead
to
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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success every time.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, working in
positive
Add an article
a positive

The noun phrase positive environment seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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environment will give results but not effectively
upto
Correct your spelling
up to

If you don’t want upto to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

the mark. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

tend to
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

individually in habituating a new skill which
enhance
Change the verb form
enhances

The plural verb enhance does not appear to agree with the singular subject a new skill. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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their
mind set
Correct your spelling
mindset

The word mind set seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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resulting in better career and high salary.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, learning is an evolution that should be done as
an
Change the article
a

The article an may be incorrect. Consider changing it to agree with the beginning sound of the following word sole.

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sole learner which leads to
reach
Change the verb form
reaching

The verb reach may be in the wrong form after the preposition to. Consider changing it to the gerund form.

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the target.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial stability
  • advancement
  • sacrifice
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • employee well-being
  • team collaboration
  • innovation
  • retain
  • long-term career success
  • skilled workers
  • professional growth
  • work-life harmony
  • positive atmosphere
  • supportive culture
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