Obesity is becoming a major problem for kids and adults. What causes this problem and how to overcome it.

Weight gain is increasing in the world today in people of all ages and

this

is causing many problems among the population at large.

First

of all, one of the biggest issues is the outbreak of many diseases, both in children and adults, that are affecting both groups.

For example

, eating fast food and junk food causes diabetes, and for

this

disease, you need to take drugs that cause more obesity.

On the other hand

, some people are overweight because they don't exercise.

For example

, after immigrating, my sister couldn't continue exercising, which caused her to gain weight and harm her health.

However

, to solve

this

problem, they should pay more attention to their diet and include exercise in their diet.

Finally

, I want to emphasize that children and adults should pay more attention to their lifestyle and daily behaviour and be more careful in choosing their food.

Submitted by mahnazshafie1998 on Sat Jan 07 2023

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

148 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Obesity is becoming a major problem for kids and adults. What causes this problem and how to overcome it.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Successful sports professional can earn a great deal more money than people in other important profession. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialise online than face to face . Is this a positive or negative development?

Some scientists believe that in the future computers will be more intelligent than human beings. While some see this as a positive development others worry about the negative consequences. Discuss both views and give your opinion.