Obesity is becoming a major problem for kids and adults. What causes this problem and how to overcome it.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Weight gain is increasing in the world today in people of all ages and

this

Linking Words

is causing many problems among the population at large.

First

Linking Words

of all, one of the biggest issues is the outbreak of many diseases, both in children and adults, that are affecting both groups.

For example

Linking Words

, eating fast food and junk food causes diabetes, and for

this

Linking Words

disease, you need to take drugs that cause more obesity.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some people are overweight because they don't exercise.

For example

Linking Words

, after immigrating, my sister couldn't continue exercising, which caused her to gain weight and harm her health.

However

Linking Words

, to solve

this

Linking Words

problem, they should pay more attention to their diet and include exercise in their diet.

Finally

Linking Words

, I want to emphasize that children and adults should pay more attention to their lifestyle and daily behaviour and be more careful in choosing their food.

Submitted by mahnazshafie1998 on Sat Jan 07 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

148 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?
With the development of society, more and more people hope to reduce the working week and add more daysoff. In this essay, I agree that we should consider reducing the working week and extend weekend that people can have more opportunities to rest. The local government also have larger tax income from this.
5.5
band
Nowadays, more people would rather purchase food than cook at home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?
Although people can cook at home, lately more people prefer to purchase food rather than cook. This essay will try to explain the advantages and disadvantages of this topic.
4
band
some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plant and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
One of the major concerns in today’s world is damaging the environment and altering it. Some people believe that the extinction of certain species can have a detrimental impact on the ecosystem, while some other people claim that there are more principal environmental troubles these days. This essay will further elaborate my views for favoring the impacts and thus, will lead to a logical conclusion.
6.5
band
Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?
The continuous growth in crime rates poses a significant challenge to societies worldwide. This essay will outline why people commit crimes in detail and then propose some solutions.
5
band
Some people believe that students should be required to study a broad range of subjects, while others argue that students should be allowed to specialize in a specific field from an early age. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
From past decades to now, the aim of school education is developing awareness of self, and teaching diverse subjects to students. While some have an attitude that it is necessary for pupils to learn a wide range of contents, others believe that the area of studies should be chosen by students themselves from very young ages. I agree with the first group and both viewpoints will be argued in the following paragraphs.

Obesity is becoming a major problem for kids and adults. What causes this problem and how to overcome it.

Fully explain your ideas

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, more people would rather purchase food than cook at home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plant and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?

Some people believe that students should be required to study a broad range of subjects, while others argue that students should be allowed to specialize in a specific field from an early age. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.