Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

It is believed that in the present era, the public is faced with various offers. I agree with
this
statement because the growth of
technology
plays a vital role in
this
situation.
Firstly
, the advanced development of
technology
helps human life in every way from daily life to government matters.
This
makes doing daily tasks become more practical and effective.
For instance
, 20 years ago, society used to go to the market for groceries. But now, groceries can be done from home through the application on the phone. Even though markets still exist, every individual has a number of choices in how they want to shop.  Another sound argument is that youngster nowadays has numerous professions they can choose as their career. Not only they can be a doctor, lawyer or engineer, but
also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
the options are larger than before.
For example
,
You Tuber
Correct your spelling
YouTubers
show examples
or social media influencers become new choices for many young people in recent years.
Lastly
, in the education sector, people gain the benefits of having so many choices.
It
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
is because
technology
helped
Wrong verb form
helps
show examples
the learner get an education
cheaper
Replace the word
cheaply
show examples
and
easier
Replace the word
easily
show examples
.
For example
, someone who is busy but wants to improve their skill can get a master's degree through an online university.
This
is good for both
university
Correct article usage
the university
show examples
and the student because it is one of the ways to solve the distance problem. In conclusion, the progress in
technology
affects many sectors so that almost everything can be connected online. Grocery shopping, job career and education are samples of how options can be created wider nowadays.
Submitted by fitri.antoni on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each body paragraph focuses on a single main point and provides supporting details and examples to strengthen the argument. Use topic sentences to clearly introduce the main idea of each paragraph.
Task Achievement
Be sure to fully address all aspects of the prompt, including presenting a clear opinion and providing specific examples to support your position. Avoid including irrelevant information that does not directly contribute to the argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
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