IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Today, the high of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#consumer #goods #power #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the modern era , there are so many kinds of advertisements which help
Use synonyms
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
show examples
 can get a good
product
Use synonyms
 . Some people think that spending money on advertising is wasteful for those products which are well known in
Use synonyms
market
Add an article
the market
show examples
 ,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 others are against
this
Linking Words
 notion . I totally agree with the latter statement and will discuss it in the upcoming paragraphs .
To begin
Linking Words
 , with reasons of formal view .
Linking Words
First
Correct article usage
The first
show examples
 and foremost reason is individuals believe those products are well known in the
market
Use synonyms
 and those have
brand
Use synonyms
 value they do not need
publicity
Use synonyms
 about any of their
Use synonyms
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 because people trust
publicity
Use synonyms
 is just for them those who are new in the field of brands .
Moreover
Linking Words
 , individuals have faith that if the
publicity
Use synonyms
 goes down
then
Linking Words
 how new
brand
Use synonyms
 trends in the
market
Use synonyms
 maybe it will be closed due to high spending on advertisement.
For example
Linking Words
 , in the year , 2010 a survey was conducted by UNO which was indicating about 75% of companies lost them due to a flop of
publicity
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
market
Add an article
the market
show examples
then
Linking Words
 they closed their companies.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , people think if the
brand
Use synonyms
 does not provide
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 new
product
Use synonyms
 throw out ads
then
Linking Words
 how
masses
Use synonyms
 will know about the new taste and how more
masses
Use synonyms
 will know about the
brand
Use synonyms
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
Furthermore
Linking Words
 , with the help of
Use synonyms
publicity
Add a comma
,publicity
show examples
 a
brand
Use synonyms
 can get more success in their business and one day they have enough money open stores in other countries or maybe they can get international rewards as well as the unemployment overcome due
open
Change preposition
to open
show examples
 new stores .
For instance
Linking Words
 , a survey was conducted by red tape in the year 2019 which was indicating 20 %
masses
Use synonyms
 got work by opening new shops in different states and it happen through advertisement. In conclusion , in the case of any
product
Use synonyms
publicity
Use synonyms
 is depend on creative ideas nor than spending high money on advertising and it's the best way to develop a business in any field.
Submitted by gurkiratbadesha36 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: