IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You would like to reduce your working hours in order to study part time. Write a letter to your boss. In your letter, explain why you want to reduce your working hours say which hours you would like to work describe how your part-time studies would benefit your employer Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows: Dear …………………..,

Dear
Mr.
Change the punctuation
Mr
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 Smith, I hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you well. I am writing
you
Change preposition
to you
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 to make a request about a reduction in working
hours
Use synonyms
. I applied
of
Change preposition
for
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 a French language course, which is starting from December 1st
this
Linking Words
 year. It requires attending
in person
Use the right word
in-person
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 classes, three days a week. Because of that, I will have to shorten weekly work
hours
Use synonyms
. My French classes will be held on Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays each week, so I can only work Monday to Wednesday. Currently, I am working eight
hours
Use synonyms
 per day, but starting from December, I would like to work 10
hours
Use synonyms
 a day if possible, so that I will be able to do at least thirty
hours
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, after finishing
this
Linking Words
 course, I will be
specialized
Change the spelling
specialised
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 in the French language, which can be an asset to the company. As we have many international clients who only speak French, we will not need to hire a translator, as I will be able to do the same job for the firm. I would really appreciate it if you could consider my humble request. Yours sincerely, Lovprit Kaur.

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improvement
Task response: You answer all asked points. Some grammar needs clean fix. Put the exact hours clearly and keep a formal tone.
improvement
Coherence and cohesion: The flow is good. Use two small paragraphs to show reason, hours, and gains. Use linking words so ideas fit well.
strength
Polite and respectful tone.
strength
Clear link between study and firm needs.
strength
Plans for hours and the week are easy to follow.
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