IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Successful companies use advertisements to make more sales. What can make an advertisement effective? Do you think advertisemnts are a bad thing or a good thing for the society?

#companies #advertisements #sales #advertisement #advertisemnts #society
The unprecedented progress of society brings several notable notions with them which are interconvertible , and the rising tendency of advertisement is one of them, To
this
, many companies use advertising for sales.
however
,
this
 essay will discuss whether it is a bad or good invention and
this
 lead to a logical conclusion. Without any qualms,
Advertisements
 are an integral part of modern business and they make
people
 aware of the multitude of
products
 available in the market. The advertising industry employs thousands of
people
.
In addition
,
advertisements
 are creative and they enhance various art forms.
For example
,
Advertisements
 inform us about the choices we have , without advertising we would have fewer choices.
Also
 without ,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
 there would be higher unemployment.
thus
,
people
 enjoy adverts. On the downside,
Advertisements
,
however
, tend to nurture consumerism by enticing
people
 to spend impulsively on glamorous
products
.
Advertisements
 are expensive and their cost is included in the price of the
products
, hiking them.
For instance
, Advertising manipulates
people
 it aims to persuade
people
 that buying a product will make them happier. They only focus on selling brand image which
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
results in children can easily be influenced by
advertisements
 and they put pressure on parents to buy them things. To conclude,
although
,
advertisements
 have many benefits we cannot ignore their downsides.
In addition
, the government should only censor false information or
products
 that are harmful.
Submitted by prabhgill1621 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • enticing
  • compelling
  • captivating
  • engaging
  • appealing
  • resonate with
  • target demographic
  • consumer behavior
  • enticement
  • visibility
  • brand awareness
  • commercialism
  • promotional tactics
  • ethical advertising
What to do next:
Look at other essays: