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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that a greater difference in age between parents and children is more beneficial than less of a difference. Do you think the advantages of a greater age difference outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #difference #age #parents #children
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It is believed that a family whose ages
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a larger
difference
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 between
children
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 and
parents
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 can receive more benefits than a smaller
difference
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.
This
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 essay will show that
this
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 greater
difference
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 provides family advantages and is a better tendency. It will
first
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 suggest that
parents
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 do not need to concern about the cost of childrearing as the primary advantage, followed by a discussion that these
parents
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 do not have enough
energy
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 to
growing
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grow
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 their
children
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 apply. The main benefit is that
parents
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 can spend much more
expense
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expensive
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 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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education
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for
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of
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children
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. In general,
the
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apply
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elder people are likely to earn more money than young people because the elderly already have made great reliance and have much experience. It means they can select more qualitative
education
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 as their
children
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's childrearing without anxiety about money. In Japan,
for example
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,
the
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apply
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elder
parents
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 tend to send their
children
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 to higher educational places, like private schools and culm schools. One possible drawback is that older people might not have enough
energy
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 to grow their
children
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up
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apply
show examples
.
Children
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, especially until being junior high school students, play from morning to night, and they ask their
parents
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 to play with their
children
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.
However
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, the older they are, the lesser
energy
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 they have.
For instance
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, there are some events like sports events being held in elementary school.
In addition
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, there is a possibility that
parents
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 are compelled to attend these events, but they might not
torelate
Correct your spelling
to relate
relate
these
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to these
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 situations because of their lower
energy
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. Overall, the bigger
difference
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 in age between
children
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 and
parents
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 is
a
Change the article
apply
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very positive because
children
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 can take higher
grade
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grades
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 in
education
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, which is provided by elderly
parents
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'
wage
Fix the agreement mistake
wages
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.
In addition
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, it is known that 50% of the student's
parents
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 at Tokyo University, which is the highest educational university in Japan, earn more money than the average wage in Japan. In conclusion, the large
difference
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 in age
provide
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provides
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 more positive points in
children
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's
education
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, while there are negative points about the shortage of
parents
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'
energy
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.
Submitted by t.watpot216 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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