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Some people believe that a greater difference in age between parents and children is more beneficial than less of a difference. Do you think the advantages of a greater age difference outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #difference #age #parents #children
It is believed that a family whose ages
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a larger
difference
 between
children
 and
parents
 can receive more benefits than a smaller
difference
.
This
 essay will show that
this
 greater
difference
 provides family advantages and is a better tendency. It will
first
 suggest that
parents
 do not need to concern about the cost of childrearing as the primary advantage, followed by a discussion that these
parents
 do not have enough
energy
 to
growing
Wrong verb form
grow
show examples
 their
children
 apply. The main benefit is that
parents
 can spend much more
expense
Replace the word
expensive
show examples
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
children
. In general,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
elder people are likely to earn more money than young people because the elderly already have made great reliance and have much experience. It means they can select more qualitative
education
 as their
children
's childrearing without anxiety about money. In Japan,
for example
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
elder
parents
 tend to send their
children
 to higher educational places, like private schools and culm schools. One possible drawback is that older people might not have enough
energy
 to grow their
children
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
Children
, especially until being junior high school students, play from morning to night, and they ask their
parents
 to play with their
children
.
However
, the older they are, the lesser
energy
 they have.
For instance
, there are some events like sports events being held in elementary school.
In addition
, there is a possibility that
parents
 are compelled to attend these events, but they might not
torelate
Correct your spelling
to relate
relate
these
Change preposition
to these
show examples
 situations because of their lower
energy
. Overall, the bigger
difference
 in age between
children
 and
parents
 is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
very positive because
children
 can take higher
grade
Fix the agreement mistake
grades
show examples
 in
education
, which is provided by elderly
parents
'
wage
Fix the agreement mistake
wages
show examples
.
In addition
, it is known that 50% of the student's
parents
 at Tokyo University, which is the highest educational university in Japan, earn more money than the average wage in Japan. In conclusion, the large
difference
 in age
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 more positive points in
children
's
education
, while there are negative points about the shortage of
parents
'
energy
.
Submitted by t.watpot216 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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