IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The resroration of old buidings in major cities around the world costs enormous amounts of money. this money would be better spent on new housing and road development .to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

#resroration #buidings #cities #world #costs #amounts #money #road #development
The renovation of old
buildings
 in main cities over the world is expensive. These expenditures would be better invested in new housing and infrastructure
such
 as road development. I totally agree with
this
 point of view because the effectiveness of renovating old
buildings
 is relatively low. When these funds are invested in amenities, they help to improve
people
's lives and the country's economy. Nowadays, the restoration of old
buildings
 in major cities has become a trend
instead
 of demolishing them. The primary cause of
this
 phenomenon is that governments believe that old
buildings
 can improve the appearance of cities and attract tourists.
However
, rebuilding ancient
buildings
 requires special technologies and materials, and it is
also
 a time-consuming process. Even though these
buildings
 have been restored, their maintenance costs are higher than those of modern
buildings
 because many old
buildings
 require more energy because their old architectural designs are incompatible with new technological devices.
Furthermore
, these structures require ongoing special treatment to protect them from harsh weather conditions.
On the other hand
, many
people
 in the world are suffering from a lack of housing and other amenities. If the government can spend money to improve housing and infrastructure,
people
's living standards can be improved.
Furthermore
, the development of roads and other infrastructure has a significant impact on economic development.
For example
, by constructing a new road to the countryside, industries in the area can profit from exporting their products, resulting in benefits not only for the company but
also
 for the entire country. In
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, while
renovation
Add an article
the renovation
show examples
 of old
buildings
 is costly, the effectiveness of renovation can be low.
However
, if the money is spent on roads and housing projects, it helps to enhance
people
's
life
Replace the word
living
show examples
 standards and the economy of the country
Submitted by bambarandahb on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: