Excessive sugar consumption causes many diseases. Some people think that it is the government responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption while others think that it is the individual’s responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views
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Consuming too much sugary foods may result in the majority of illnesses.
While
some crowds claim that the government
should take action to restrict eating sugar
, I agree with those who believe it is people's duty to pay attention to their food
and how much sugar
they eat.
On the one hand, supporters of putting limitations on surgery products by authorities argued that the government
should intervene and by implementing some strategies, try to encourage people not to use too much sugar
. I concede that the government
can provide some programs and design useful advertisements to increase awareness in society. But I think government
should participate in more important issues instead
. For example
, air pollution, traffic, and inflammation seem to be more crucial.
On the other hand
, it is clear that
people should be worried about all aspects of their lives. Ranging from food
, diet etc. The public not only can control their family's dishes,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
can give advice to others and motivate them to not use the amount of sugary stuff and Also
try to make their diet healthier and healthier. I think mothers may play a vital role since , in most societies, women cook for the family. Paying attention to what is eaten is completely related to individuals. They can find various substitutes for sugar
in different books and platforms or even supermarkets. It is a matter of wanting.
In conclusion, Although
limiting sugary food
is said to be the government
's duty, I think every part of society is responsible for themselves and their families. They should pay attention to their diet and try to find alternatives to sugary food
.Submitted by Maral.qanbarii1992 on
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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your arguments by clearly linking your examples and reasoning to your main points. For instance, while you mentioned the role of the government in other issues like air pollution and traffic, it would be more effective to explain why these issues are more crucial than sugar consumption.
task achievement
To strengthen your response, provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This will demonstrate a deeper engagement with the topic and enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.
task achievement
Ensure varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance readability and maintain the reader's interest. This will also help to showcase your language proficiency more effectively.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction effectively presents the topic and states your position clearly, which sets a strong foundation for the essay.
introduction conclusion
You have a clear conclusion that reiterates your main argument and provides a sense of closure.
complete response
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, which shows an understanding of different perspectives on the issue.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.