IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

people's shopping habits depend more on the age group they belong to than on any other factor . to what extend do you agree or disagree

#people #habits #age #group #factor
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It is argued that
shopping
Correct article usage
the shopping
show examples
 patterns of
people
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 depended
regarding
Change preposition
on
show examples
their
aged
Change the form of the verb
age
show examples
 rather than any other
curcumantance
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circumstance
. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 point of
veiw
Correct your spelling
view
Use synonyms
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
people
Use synonyms
's shipping methods and necceraties can be changed according to age group On the one hand , shopping habits
has
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have
show examples
 changed dramatically over a few
dacades
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decades
 due to
development
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the development
show examples
 of technology and globalization.
As a result
Linking Words
 of
Correct article usage
the advert
show examples
advert
Fix the agreement mistake
adverts
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of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 mobile
device
Fix the agreement mistake
devices
show examples
,
online
Correct article usage
the online
show examples
 shopping
flatform
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platform
show examples
 has become
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 popular among the young generation
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becouse
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because
, new
gerneration
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generation
spents
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spent
spends
 more time on
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 and they are
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
famillier
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familiar
 with
ecomernce
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e-commerce
eCommerce
app
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apps
show examples
 on mobile devices.
Eventhough
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Even though
, online shopping is
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
show examples
, many elderly
people
Use synonyms
are prefer
Change the verb form
prefer
show examples
 to go shopping
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 physical
store
Fix the agreement mistake
stores
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 due to they might not be enjoying using
electronic
Add an article
an electronic
the electronic
show examples
device
Fix the agreement mistake
devices
show examples
.
Moreover
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, many older
people
Use synonyms
 are more social
therefore
Linking Words
 they would like to communicate face to face when purchasing the item,
some time
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
 it gives them
to
Correct article usage
the to
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 socialize with other
people
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
's needs and
frequncy
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frequency
 of shopping can be changed according to their age
grop
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group
. For
instantace
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instance
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenager
probabaly
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probably
 likes to
shopping
Replace the word
shop
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offten
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often
,
Use synonyms
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
the market has been
upadated
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updated
 daily with new items , particularly ,
electroic
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electronic
devicess
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devices
 and
also
Linking Words
adoloscent
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adolescent
adolescents
 spend
a
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apply
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huge money on smart devices
such
Linking Words
 as mobile phone and laptop.
beside
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besides
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, elder
people
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 spend money on
house hold
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household
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itmes
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items
such
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 as washing
machine
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machines
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and
refrigarator
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refrigerator
refrigerators
. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
shoping
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shopping
habbits
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habits
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
technged
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changed
 according to their age group
Use synonyms
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because
becouse
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because
 of
influence
Correct article usage
the influence
show examples
 of technology and
Correct article usage
the differnece
show examples
Correct your spelling
differences
differnece
Correct your spelling
difference
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their needs
Submitted by bambarandahb on

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