IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #work #company #organisation #be #case
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People spend
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of
time
Correct pronoun usage
their time
show examples
 in their entire life and have different purposes to achieve. It used to be more common to work for an organization.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 there is a gradual change in
this
Linking Words
 traditional trend with
a growing interests
Correct the article-noun agreement
a growing interest
growing interests
show examples
toward
Change preposition
in
show examples
self-employment
Use synonyms
. I will examine some contributing factors and potential disadvantages that may be brought
by
Change preposition
about by
show examples
this
Linking Words
 change. There is a certain change in the current view toward work among many
workforce
Change to a plural noun
workforces
show examples
. Being employed in a
company
Use synonyms
 used to be regarded as safe since
devoted
Add an article
the devoted
show examples
 commitment of
workers
Use synonyms
 to the organization
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
show examples
 them to gain
prolong
Wrong verb form
prolonged
show examples
 employment and promotional opportunities.
As a result
Linking Words
, many employees
dersire
Correct your spelling
desire
 to remain in the same
company
Use synonyms
 both for economic benefits and safety.
However
Linking Words
 many
workers
Use synonyms
 are now threatened by an unexpected bankruptcy and lay in the current stagnant economic situation.
For example
Linking Words
, Amazon, one of the biggest
Use synonyms
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 in
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
, announced
layoff
Add an article
the layoff
a layoff
show examples
 of a thousand
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
workers
Use synonyms
 without previous notice. The truth that working in a
company
Use synonyms
 is no longer safe than before is a primary reason for their transition to
self-employment
Use synonyms
. Regardless of the growing shift toward
self-employment
Use synonyms
,
workers
Use synonyms
 need to be aware of
potential
Correct article usage
the potential
show examples
 risks that come with it. The biggest problem that troubles a business owner is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 large amount of financial investment required to initiate a new business.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
such
Linking Words
 financial burden, there are a number of other difficulties that a
company
Use synonyms
 faces including hiring talented
workers
Use synonyms
, their education, and
advertisement
Replace the word
advertising
show examples
 to spread its reputation. Being overwhelmed by
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
loads of work and great responsibility, self-employed business often fails with only great loans left to pay back. In conclusion, while
self-employment
Use synonyms
 is a popular trend today, people should not ignore the fact that starting
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
buisness
Correct your spelling
business
 often comes with great risks
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 both finance and management.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employment
  • freelancing
  • entrepreneurship
  • autonomy
  • financial stability
  • work-life balance
  • financial insecurity
  • lack of support
  • resources
  • long working hours
  • uncertain income
  • job security
What to do next:
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