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Band 6.5

Demand for food is increasing worldwide . what is the cause of this ? What measures can international community take to meet this demand ?

#demand #food #measures #community
Varied opinions have been put on the table when it comes to increasing
food
 demand.
However
 , there is no doubt about the fact that meal demands are increasing by leaps and bounds around the world . In
this
 essay , I will discuss why
this
 is happening and what measures should be taken to meet the needs of people for
food
 . To start with , the first cause of the increasing demand for meals seems to be the growing population over the decade which creates more problems for the governments.
In addition
 , there are not enough lands to grow crops because , as the population increases , the demand for accommodation rises too , which means people need more places to live .
Furthermore
 ,
this
 raises a problem for farmers because
then
Rephrase
apply
show examples
they cannot get a sufficient area for farming. The second cause appears to be climate change. In detail ,
weather
 is unpredictable these days
due to
 the increase in global warming , the reason is the rising use of air conditioners and refrigerators .
As a result
 , farmers have no idea about the
weather
 forecasts which leads to a huge waste of crops because all of them can be ruined by bad
weather
 conditions. The third cause is likely to be the wastage of
food
 by the masses at parties , birthdays , weddings and so on . Moving towards the side measures which should be taken to meet the demands of
food
 .
Firstly
 , governments should encourage folk to have a single child or two , as it will help to control the booming population.
Secondly
 , farmers should be encouraged to use new irrigation methods in order to deal with bad
weather
 conditions and taxes needs to be reduced on fertilizers and
such
 equipment. At
last
 , governments should create rules for controlling the wastage of
food
 in many areas so those who get less
food
 to eat , will get more. In conclusion , I indeed think that the aforementioned solutions will help the international communities to overcome the troubles of
food
 demands. But , it is not only the government's responsibility , but
also
 individuals can do more than them .
Submitted by pyash5245 on

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task response
Ensure that all main points are supported with relevant examples and details to enhance the coherence and cohesion of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks adequate support for the main points and needs to be more focused on the task at hand. Make sure to address all parts of the task prompt and provide clear explanations and examples to support your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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