In today's world many peoplel own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

#world #peoplel #smartphone

Whether everyone can afford a

smartphone

is a recurring argument.

This

writer that the benefits of communication and education outweigh the drawbacks of

health

. The most advantageous factor of owning a

smartphone

is that it can help people communicate with others easily.

In other words

,through a

smartphone

users can connect with their friends who are living far from them. From prior knowledge, thanks to

smartphones

, consumers can download a great number of applications

such

as Facebook, Messenger ,etc. These are very efficient for chatting with friends. Through those,everyone cannot face-to-face when necessary.

Besides

, they

also

send and receive a file which has big data without trouble.

Thus

, a

smartphone

plays a vital role in fastening together. Education must

also

be considered. It must be recognized that students and teachers can alter the method of learning from face-to-face to online. Take the way of learning during COVID-19 as a prime example, at that time, under the pressure of the epidemic, all of the schools in Vietnam had to be closed to protect the

health

of instructors and learners.

However

, studying is one of the most critical things, they transform teaching online through

smartphones

and laptops. Thereby, owning a

smartphonen

Correct your spelling

smartphone

can help people avoid stopping learning.

However

smartphones

also

have a negative impact on

health

. They believe that the phone contains blue light which suppresses the production of the hormone melatonin in the brain and makes us sleepless. Not only that, when spending more time on a

smartphone

can affect the eyes dangerously.

Thus

, phones can cause serious damage to the

health

of consumers. Taking all points into account, the possible impact of

smartphones

being unhealthy is outweighed by connecting to others and instruction.

Hence

, having

smartphones

can be more beneficial for everyone , especially students.

Submitted by [email protected] on Tue Jan 09 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

The essay lacks a clear introduction outlining the statement and rarely presents both sides of the argument, leading to an incomplete task response. Clarifying your position initially and ensuring a balanced discussion can enhance the effectiveness of your essay.

task achievement

While some main points are supported, the development is minimal and at times unclear. The essay would benefit from expansion of the points made and more varied sentence structures to convey the ideas cogently.

coherence cohesion

The essay fails to use cohesive devices effectively, resulting in somewhat disconnected ideas. A range of linking words should be employed to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure could be improved by offering more explicit topic sentences that guide the reader through the arguments. A clearer progression and segmentation of ideas would strengthen the essay's coherence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

295 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others believe actions can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both and give your opinion.
It is true that human activities have negatively affected plants and animal species worldwide. While there are arguments that this trend can not be altered, in my perspective, certain steps could be taken by individuals and the government to lead to a change.
7
band
In some countries levels of health and fitness are decreasing and average weights are increasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what are some possible solutions?
In recent years, numerous nations have witnessed a troubling trend: a decline in health and fitness levels coupled with a steady increase in average weights. This multifaceted issue stems from various factors, including lifestyle changes, dietary habits, technological advancements, and societal norms.
4
band
In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think is postitive or negative situation?
Some countries people take a hosuse for rent. Because of thir jobs. I am going with taking a house rent is far better than owing a house.
6
band
There should be strict laws banning people from taking photographs of people under 18 in order to protect young celebrities and the children of celebrities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Undoubtedly, the question of whether strict laws should be enacted to prohibit the photography of individuals under 18, particularly young celebrities and children of celebrities, raises complex ethical and legal considerations. In this essay, I will examine the arguments both in favor of and against such legislation.
6.5
band
In some countries, most people prefer to rent their homes rather than buy them. What are the advantages and disadvantages of renting a home?
In this hustle-and-bustle society, there has been ongoing debate regarding whether people should buy their own houses. Some argue that renting homes can have tons of benefits, while others are afraid of detrimental effects. This essay will explore both perspectives and present my personal viewpoint.

In today's world many peoplel own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others believe actions can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both and give your opinion.

In some countries levels of health and fitness are decreasing and average weights are increasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what are some possible solutions?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think is postitive or negative situation?

There should be strict laws banning people from taking photographs of people under 18 in order to protect young celebrities and the children of celebrities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, most people prefer to rent their homes rather than buy them. What are the advantages and disadvantages of renting a home?