In today's world many peoplel own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

#world #peoplel #smartphone

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Whether everyone can afford a

smartphone

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is a recurring argument.

This

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writer that the benefits of communication and education outweigh the drawbacks of

health

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. The most advantageous factor of owning a

smartphone

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is that it can help people communicate with others easily.

In other words

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,through a

smartphone

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users can connect with their friends who are living far from them. From prior knowledge, thanks to

smartphones

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, consumers can download a great number of applications

such

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as Facebook, Messenger ,etc. These are very efficient for chatting with friends. Through those,everyone cannot face-to-face when necessary.

Besides

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, they

also

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send and receive a file which has big data without trouble.

Thus

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, a

smartphone

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plays a vital role in fastening together. Education must

also

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be considered. It must be recognized that students and teachers can alter the method of learning from face-to-face to online. Take the way of learning during COVID-19 as a prime example, at that time, under the pressure of the epidemic, all of the schools in Vietnam had to be closed to protect the

health

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of instructors and learners.

However

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, studying is one of the most critical things, they transform teaching online through

smartphones

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and laptops. Thereby, owning a

smartphonen

Correct your spelling

smartphone

can help people avoid stopping learning.

However

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smartphones

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also

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have a negative impact on

health

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. They believe that the phone contains blue light which suppresses the production of the hormone melatonin in the brain and makes us sleepless. Not only that, when spending more time on a

smartphone

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can affect the eyes dangerously.

Thus

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, phones can cause serious damage to the

health

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of consumers. Taking all points into account, the possible impact of

smartphones

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being unhealthy is outweighed by connecting to others and instruction.

Hence

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, having

smartphones

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can be more beneficial for everyone , especially students.

Submitted by [email protected] on Tue Jan 09 2024

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task response

The essay lacks a clear introduction outlining the statement and rarely presents both sides of the argument, leading to an incomplete task response. Clarifying your position initially and ensuring a balanced discussion can enhance the effectiveness of your essay.

task achievement

While some main points are supported, the development is minimal and at times unclear. The essay would benefit from expansion of the points made and more varied sentence structures to convey the ideas cogently.

coherence cohesion

The essay fails to use cohesive devices effectively, resulting in somewhat disconnected ideas. A range of linking words should be employed to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure could be improved by offering more explicit topic sentences that guide the reader through the arguments. A clearer progression and segmentation of ideas would strengthen the essay's coherence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

295 words

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In today's world many peoplel own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Shops should not be allowed to sell food and drinks tha are scientifically proven to be bad for people's health. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

“Some people believe that exercise is the key to good health while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important.” Discuss both sides and give your opinion

your family has written a letter to you asking for advice regarding a visit that his or her parents will be making to your area in the near future. reccomend a place where they can stay suggest the place they can visit offer to do somethng with them

Some people believe that people who read books can develop more immigration and language skills than those who prefer to watch tv to extent you agree or disagree

Some people think that older school children should learn a wide range of subjects to acquire more knowledge, while other people believe they should learn a small number of subjects in details. Discuss both views and give your opinion.