IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Traditional ideas from older people are not helpful to the younger generation and their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

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It is often argued that old-style
ideas
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 from senior members of our
society
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not
Add a missing verb
are not
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 useful for youth individuals in our
society
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. Some
people
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 say those old-style
ideas
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 and
experience
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experiences
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 from old
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people’s
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people
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 are not
validate
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valid
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 for
future
Correct article usage
the future
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 either. In my opinion, I disagree with that,
hence
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 old style
ideas
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 will not only help younger
generations
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 but
also
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 mould their future
also
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. Older
people
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 have more life experience, that no youngsters can get in
shorter
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a shorter
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 period. For
a
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an
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Instance
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,Instance
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student
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students
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 can earn a degree after completing four years
higher
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of higher
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 education but they cannot learn how to apply that
knowledge
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 in
real
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the real
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 world. For that younger
generations
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 can exchange their learned
knowledge
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 with older
people
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 and figure
how
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out how
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 they can use learned
knowledge
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 to find answers
for
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to
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 modern world problems. Most older
people
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 strictly maintain
our
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 cultural and religious
believes
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beliefs
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. They have
wealth
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a wealth
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knowledge
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of knowledge
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 about cultural
ideas
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 because it will help their
society
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 maintain good
behaviors
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behaviours
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.
For
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instance
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,instance
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 their
believes
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beliefs
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 about marriage life,
how
Correct word choice
and how
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 to treat our parents are valid not only past but
also
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present
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in present
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society
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. Younger
people
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 can get
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an idea
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idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
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 about those
ethic
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ethics
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 and
believes
Replace the word
beliefs
show examples
 from older
people
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. By doing that younger
people
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also
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 can live in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
society
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 with good
behavior
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behaviour
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 and respectable individuals. but some traditional
ideas
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 from senior
people
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 about fashion
are not help
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do not help
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 full to younger
generations
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. More
over
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apply
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nowadays young fashion designers trying to combine old traditional
ideas
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 are current fashion
ideas
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. In
conclusion
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,conclusion
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 traditional
ideas
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 from older
people
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 are very helpful to younger
generations
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 to build their future. While younger generation
learn
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learns
show examples
 from their experience with nature and
farming
Correct article usage
the farming
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 industry and
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
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 traditional social ethics will help
younger
Add an article
the younger
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 generation to build their character in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
Use synonyms
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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