IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarket in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#development #expansion #supermarket #countries #business #people #closure #death #communities
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Today, we can see that the fast pace development in large business cooperations
such
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 as
supermarkets
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 has challenged small businesses and they are unable to accept the challenges made by huge
markets
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.
Therefore
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, there is a potential of closing down the local
markets
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 which will affect negatively the
people
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 and the business parties. I completely agree will the statement mentioned above and the following essay will elaborate
further
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 with examples. Commencing, it is true that
street
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 vendors and
street
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markets
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 are a huge benefit for the native
people
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 as the prices in these stalls are affordable for local
people
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. Even though local communities are visiting large shopping malls for clothes and other home appliances for glossary shopping they visit the
street
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markets
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 which give them fresh and clean vegetables and fruits.
Additionally
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, the closure of small businesses means
people
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 are losing their jobs and new factories will be built up which affects the job market of individuals who are living their lives through daily expenses from the stalls. As an example, due to the pandemic situation in many country local shops has to close down and
people
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 were suffering due to the consequences.
Moreover
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, farmers face a difficult situation since their products are taken at a cheap price by big companies.
Moreover
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,
people
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 who are living in areas are unable to access
supermarkets
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 which they are used to
street
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 business
also
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 they are not familiar with the technological advancements in
supermarkets
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such
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 as Paypal, self counters since they were dealing with cash. In conclusion, I believe that even though there is a plethora of positive factors
of
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to
show examples
 visiting
supermarkets
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 or shopping malls local stores play a vital role in local communities.
Submitted by wathsala.lekamge1997 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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