IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. to what extents do you agree or disagree with this opinion

#people #music #cultures #ages #extents
Music
 has been named as a middle communicating tool among
people
. I strongly agree that
music
 can gather
people
 with differences
such
 as ages, genders, or cultures. In
this
 essay, my viewpoints will be explained.
Firstly
,
music
Add an article
the music
show examples
 fits every language. Even if the person does not understand the meaning of the lyrics, they can enjoy the
music
 anyway.
Furthermore
, songs
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 not distinguish
people
 into sides. To illustrate
this
, classical is one of the genres that has a wide range of listeners from newborns to elders. They do not need any knowledge about
music
 to indulge in and understand classical.
Furthermore
,
music
 brings
people
 from various cultures from all over the world together.
For instance
, Black Pink, one of the worldwide famous Korean girl groups, has world tour concerts in which all tickets are sold out in every country they go to. Though, the lyrics are mainly in Korean language, unlike English
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is one of the common languages worldwide,
people
 still
cheers
Change the verb form
cheer
show examples
 for Black Pink and
willing
Add a missing verb
are willing
show examples
 to pay for tickets to see their performances. Regardless of whether Asians with strict traditions
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 or open-minded
Westerns
Replace the word
Westerners
show examples
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
feel the same at the show. Forget where they were from and have fun with whatever is in front of them. To conclude, I totally agree with the statement as
music
 is borderless in various aspects.
Consequently
, it is a good way to bring
people
 together.
Submitted by minichariie on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: