IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people say that completing University education is the best way to get a job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills are important Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#people #university #education #job #hand #skills
In
this
 era, getting a new career is a big problem for some fresh graduates. the majority of fresh graduates have not upgraded their
skills
 when in college and the minority have diamond
skills
 that they got when joining a community at university. in my opinion, for some families being an undergraduate student is a must for their privilege. they think that with a degree they can get a job more easily and get a big salary.
moreover
, 50 per cent of students can get their dream position after their graduation, but for 50 per cent of others is very difficult to get a place for a new experience. in colleges, students have got not only knowledge from lectures but
also
 some information that they do not get from senior high school. it will be a foundation for undergraduate students to know the world of work
in contrast
, other people think that after graduating from senior high school, continuing studying at university is not a must for some communities, especially for those that have a background ,not from a rich family.
as a result
,
this
 makes some teenagers join the community to expand their adaptabilities and relations. by
this
 way, when they want to search for an office and join an association, they can easy to get in. because some bosses from a group search for people that have filled the required
skills
.
this
 is because, when their recruit people who have the ability to work, it makes the environment in the company more improved. in conclusion, getting a degree in university is very good to expand knowledge and exercise critical thinking. but if want to get an activity after graduation faster, fresh graduates must fill up their portfolio with good
skills
such
 as experience, leadership, communication
skills
, and time management.
then
 it can boost their value to get into a big group with a big salary as their dream
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • structured learning
  • theoretical knowledge
  • academic credentials
  • networking opportunities
  • real-world application
  • problem-solving
  • teamwork
  • communication skills
  • adaptability
  • internships
  • apprenticeships
  • professional development
  • entrepreneurship
  • long-term career success
  • industries
  • fields
  • balance
  • foundation
  • cultivation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: