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Band 6

To succeed in a business, one needs to be good at Math. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#business #math
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In today’s world, the
business
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 field is in great demand from
people
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 around the world. Some
people
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 think that
people
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 (
those
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
) who want to work in
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business related
Add a hyphen
business-related
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 fields,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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need to be good at Math.
This
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 essay will show my greater tendency of prioritizing technological
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skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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 and mastering persuasive knowledge in order to improve their
business
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 (achieve
business
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 goals/vision).
First
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 and foremost, in
this
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 developed era, businessmen should possess
Correct article usage
apply
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a
Remove the article
apply
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good
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Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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 in technology in order to compete with others.
This
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 is caused by the rapid development of the internet which provides a place for every kind of
business
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 to work on an online platform. Since online purchasing is increasing more and more, many traders may move to the more profitable way which is online shops (because
customers
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 nowadays prefer to shop in online markets).
For instance
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,
the
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apply
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offline stores cannot reach broad
customers
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, since they only provide the
products
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 for their surroundings.
In contrast
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, online stores can connect with many
people
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 easily and it leads to an increase in their takings (better to use personal experience).
Therefore
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, the
ability
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 to operate
such
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as
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apply
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technological tools is essential for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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traders to provide
customers
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’ needs.
Furthermore
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,
People
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 who work in the
business
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 field should have
a good persuasive knowledge
Remove the article
good persuasive knowledge
a piece of good persuasive knowledge
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, because they need to encourage many individuals to purchase
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products
Correct article usage
the products
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 that they sell. In these circumstances, the
ability
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 to attract humans is the most needed
skill
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 in order to gain as much profit for their company (attract new
customers
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 to buy the company's
products
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).
For example
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,
the
Correct article usage
a
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 company which offers high-quality
products
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 needs
the
Correct article usage
apply
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marketing
skill
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 to persuade
customers
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 (
Example
Change preposition
For example
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:
cooking
Correct article usage
a cooking
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 demo).
Hence
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,
this
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skill
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 is
worth-learning
Correct your spelling
worth learning
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than
Correct quantifier usage
more than
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 math itself. In conclusion,
although
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 many
people
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 need to master numerical skills for calculating their profits, other skills
such
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 as the
ability
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 to follow the market trends in the technology era and the
ability
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 to attract more
people
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 are
the
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apply
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crucial ones.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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