Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #sense #competition #children #co-operate #adults

It is considered by

majority

Add an article

the majority

a majority

show examples

of individuals that a feeling of

contest

Add an article

the contest

show examples

should be aroused in

children

, whilst others disagree and argue that youths who are being instructed how to

collaberate

Correct your spelling

collaborate

become more beneficial humans. From my

prespective

Correct your spelling

perspective

, the combination of the two is the best

way

forward. Based on the above statement, I am going to discuss

both

notions as well as highlight the reason for my point of view.

To begin

with, there are some communities who assume that a sense of competition in

children

should be propelled. They believe that

Change preposition

show examples

this

way

they will be able to incorporate achievement into their life.

As a result

this

, they might become

a confident adults

Correct the article-noun agreement

confident adults

a confident adult

show examples

. As an illustration of

this

, in one research it was indicated that encouraging a feeling of rivalry is the sole route to reach accomplishment.

On the other hand

, there are others who assert that

children

should be taught to cooperate,

Correct word choice

and as

show examples

a result of

this

, they will become more productive

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

Besides

, they will possess the ability to work in

teamworks

Correct your spelling

teamwork

team works

Steamworks

Furthermore

, they will be able to establish

a rewarding friendship bonds

Correct the article-noun agreement

a rewarding friendship bond

rewarding friendship bonds

show examples

. In my opinion, having a balance between

both

of these notions would be the best

way

to offer.

As by

Change preposition

show examples

performing

both

of these ways ,they might achieve their level of success as well as manage a good working partnership. In conclusion,

nevertheless

Add a comma

,nevertheless

show examples

it is considered by some individuals a sense of competition should be encouraged in

children

, there are others who claim

otherwise

and tell that in order to become more beneficial adults it is essential to be taught how to cooperate. Despite these arguments, I believe that the combination of

both

is the best

way

forward.

Submitted by Parvina on Mon Jan 09 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

287 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
compete
cooperate
useful
adults
skills
motivation
drive
resilience
failure
workplace
empathy
social skills
reduce
stress
pressure
balanced
approach
ideal

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?
Although nowadays,most parents and people recognize it is violence that punish children to learn that do not carry out wrong actions, there are some people who think there are no appropriate way except adjudicate to stop their children to root erroneous action still existence. In my opinion, I disagree that parents should use hard way to their kids understand which one is bad and good.
6
band
Aome people like to try new things , for example, places to visit and types of food. other people prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with. discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion
There is no denying the fact that some People
5
band
More and more people around the world are learning English as a second or foreign language, even in countries where it is not used in daily life. What are the advantages and disadvantages to this?
These days,more and more folk are taking up the courses of English,which can be their second or foreign language regardless of that they require speak English or not in their life.In other words,the eagerness of learning English has risen dramatically in this modern life.There is no doubt that there are various advantages and disadvantages of learning English when people particularly do not need it.In this essay,I will address some benefits and drawbacks of this subject.
4
band
Some parents buy their kids a large number of toys to play with.What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having large numbers of toys.
Some individuals get their children a good number of toys. Little ones always are happy after receiving a tool of joy, while grown people spend a lot of their money on these playthings which also evolve over time.
7.5
band
Nowadays getting a job is becoming harder in poor countries leading to a rise in unemployment. Some people believe that pupils should only be allowed to access primary education while others believe that secondary education is necessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The unemployment level is on the rise, particularly in countries where the majority are living on less than $ 1 a day. Restricting access to only primary education might seem advantageous in these countries as it will encourage the locals to focus on learning a trade; where jobs are more abundant. On the other hand, I believe giving pupils access to a higher level of education gives them a competitive advantage to find more lucrative jobs in their home town and it also opens opportunities for them internationally.

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Aome people like to try new things , for example, places to visit and types of food. other people prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with. discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion

More and more people around the world are learning English as a second or foreign language, even in countries where it is not used in daily life. What are the advantages and disadvantages to this?

Some parents buy their kids a large number of toys to play with.What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having large numbers of toys.

Nowadays getting a job is becoming harder in poor countries leading to a rise in unemployment. Some people believe that pupils should only be allowed to access primary education while others believe that secondary education is necessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?