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Band 2.5

It is currently believed that children's behavior and misconduct is due to the lack of strict discipline and punishment applied by parents. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#children #behavior #misconduct #lack #discipline #punishment #parents
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Nowadays,
children
 are not behaving properly because of missing discipline and punishment by caregivers . Personally, I completely agree with
this
 given statement because of various reasons that I would like to discuss
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
. To commence with some factors why
children
 misbehave due to parental leniency.
First
 of all,
children
 have a choice to live independently in their homes . Even they can do whatever they want ,
instead
 of
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
worrying about other family members . As a consequence, juveniles sometimes start to speak bad words about their
parents
.
Secondly
 , some pupils do not listen to their teachers because their
parents
 have not strictly disciplined them at home.
Also
 , they do not follow any rules in their class and disobey their mentor.
Moreover
, family members are in love with their offspring and they do not want to punish them or bother them for their
mistake
Fix the agreement mistake
mistakes
show examples
.
In
Change preposition
As
show examples
results
Fix the agreement mistake
result
show examples
,
children
 learn nothing about good or bad things in their lives and
also
 commit major crimes without any worry of punishment.
Finally
 ,
parents
 are not teaching their kids any moral values during their childhood because they are busy
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their own
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
As a result
,
children
 are leading
life
Add an article
a life
show examples
 without manners. In conclusion , I strongly believe that
parents
 are mainly responsible for the bad habits
among
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their
children
.
Submitted by bandhana322 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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