IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Fast-food restaurants are becoming more popular than ever all over the world. What are the possible causes and effects of this phenomenon

#fast-food #restaurants #world #effects #phenomenon
It is true that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the trend of eating junk
food
 is becoming popular among all generations worldwide. There are various possible causes why they like to eat outside, and
forwards
Correct subject-verb agreement
forward
show examples
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
all mankind towards
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 sedentary lifestyle.
Firstly
, I would like
talk
Fix the infinitive
to talk
show examples
 about the reason's why
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
these restaurants
Add a missing verb
are favorable
show examples
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
, foremost is they provide
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of
food
 options
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their menu so you can easily choose your option and the taste and quality of
food
 is
also
 another thing why they like to eat
fast-
Correct your spelling
fast food
show examples
food
.
Secondly
,
easy to order
Add a hyphen
easy-to-order
show examples
 or
home
 delivery
option
Fix the agreement mistake
options
show examples
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
 the major reason it's so convenient for
young
Add an article
a young
show examples
 generation or even in orders to
order
Change the verb form
ordering
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
 online and they will drop .
For instance
,
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 are so many
food
 apps like Uber
eat
Change the verb form
eats
show examples
,doors dash,
skip
Correct word choice
and skip
show examples
 they provide
home
 service
frome
Correct your spelling
from
food
 shops to
home
 .
Last
 but not least, Due to hectic schedules, many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people all around the world are working hard so they
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
 not enough time to cook the
food
 so they prefer to
pic
Correct your spelling
pick
show examples
 the
food
 on the way
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 work through
drive
Add an article
the drive
a drive
show examples
 through which
also
save
Correct subject-verb agreement
saves
show examples
 the time .
On the other hand
 , everything has
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 own drawback , the topmost is they are leading to the sedentary
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
,which put harmful effects on human
beings
Change noun form
beings'
being's
show examples
 health .
for example
, less physical activity or no cooking at
home
also
 make them
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
lazy or they get obesity which
also
 causes so many health problems
such
 as high blood pressure, diabetes so on.
The
Remove the article
Another
show examples
another effects
Replace the adjective
another effect
other effects
show examples
 will be
goes
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
 to our environment,
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
food
 packaging paper and plastic make the whole planet polluted. IN CONCLUSION,
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
consume
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
of fast-
food
 stuff is
increase
Change the form of the verb
increasing
show examples
 dramatically all over the world because of some
mention
Wrong verb form
mentioned
show examples
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
. I would like to say that people should manage their timetable to get time to cook
food
 themselves at
home
 which is more delicious and fresh .
Submitted by Jagmeetkaur575 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: