IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Shops should not be allowed to sell any food or drinks that have been scientifically proven to be bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#shops #food #drinks #people’s #health
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Nowadays, most
of
Change preposition
apply
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Use synonyms
people
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the people
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 carefully select some
products
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. In 21-century
people
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faced
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are faced
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with
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apply
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a lot of problems,
for
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instance
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,instance
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 some new viruses, covid-19 and etc. so
people
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try
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totry
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 take very good care of their
health
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. some of them really
thinks
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think
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 that shops should not be allowed to sell any food or drinks that have been scientifically proven. In my view, before
to sell
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selling
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 any food or drink, these
products
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 should have been scientifically proven, because it is really important to know what we eat or drink, it is important for our
health
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. Some
people
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 in our country have
problem
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problems
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 with their
health
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, so obviously they have to
monitoring
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monitor
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 their diet, but it depends on the
products
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, how
to
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apply
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people
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 can monitor their diet system
,
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apply
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 if we doubt the quality of some
products
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? So
that is
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 why, in my
opinion
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,opinion
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 some of the
products
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 have been scientifically proven for sure.
On the other hand
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, it is not always
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Correct article usage
the products
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products
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product's
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 fault. Sometimes
people
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 could not just check the expiration date of the product and
then
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 eat it.
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However
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,However
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 it leads to various intestinal diseases. One way to tackle
this
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 is to check the expiration date before buying it.
By doing
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Doing
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this
Linking Words
 it will help
to
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you to
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 take very well care of your
health
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.
this
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 solution would hopefully prevent
people
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 from
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a problem
the problem
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problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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 with
health
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 because it is
good
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a good
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 way
take
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to take
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 care of your diet system. In conclusion,
to check
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checking
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 the expiration date of
the
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apply
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any product is effective and dealing with the issue. If
people
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 implemented these solution problem with
health
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 would soon become less acute.
Submitted by mariyanice001 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Regulations
  • accountability
  • retailers
  • public health
  • consumer choice
  • diet
  • banning
  • health education
  • awareness campaigns
  • economic impact
  • job losses
  • small businesses
  • complexity
  • beneficial
  • harmful
  • quantity consumed
  • individual health conditions
What to do next:
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