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Writing Samples
Band 7

History is more important than Science technology and vice-versa. discuss both of the views and give your opinion.

#history #science #technology #vice-versa
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Some people will argue that certain subjects in school are more important than others. like Science
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,
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Although
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 I personally believe that all school subjects are equally relevant,
this
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 essay will carefully look into both sides of the statement.
Firstly
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, the significance of acquiring basic knowledge about our
history
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 is inevitable, as the younger generations nowadays do not have the same drive as the previous ones to take the initiative to learn on their own. Humans have through millions of years contributed to major problems,
such
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 as wars, enslavement, genocides, looting and global warming.
Therefore
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, teaching
history
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 can, in my opinion, serve two purposes, the first one is to prevent future generations from repeating the same mistakes as their ancestors, and the second advantage is, to acknowledge the suffering and the pain of victims.
On the other hand
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, we live in a technology era, which means science and technology will create the most opportunities in research and development in the world.
Consequently
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, parents will encourage their children and advocate for more attention to those topics in education which can provide jobs in the future.
For example
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, big tech companies
such
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 as Tesla, Apple and Google are consecutively recruiting young candidates with a firing passion for new innovation and improvement of existing devices.
Additionally
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, access to advanced computers can help make
history
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 more exciting for youngsters today as they spend an unlimited amount of time using gadgets. in conclusion, studying
history
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 will make humankind humble as it enlightens the poor choices of our forefathers,
whereas
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 science and technology facilitate the world to evolve.
That is
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 why I think that the world could benefit from teaching both subjects.
Submitted by Farh on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details that connect back to the main idea.
lexical resource
Utilize a wider range of academic vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and effectively.
grammatical range
Be mindful of sentence structure variety and complex grammatical constructions to showcase a higher level of grammatical range.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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