Stress-related illness are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#illness

while anxiety-related disorders getting acquired progressively we should find new ways to avoid them. And to start we have to know the reasons. We can think of several occasions for

this

illness. Urban lifestyle has a lot of pressure on

people

. These days urban lifestyle is the most common way of living. In

this

way of life humans' concentration is on earning money ,

therefore

they do not have primal needs like building shelters or seeking food. According to Maslow's pyramid when humans meet their primary needs they will start to think about existential problems and these questions may lead them to depression and stress-related illness.

Also

, the desire to get accepted by society is another reason to get nervous. All humankind's demand is to be accepted by society and all their effort is to ascertain

this

desire. ,

However

Add a comma

,However

show examples

this

wish does not come true it will put so much pressure on

people

and will cause anxiety.

For instance

people

try to go to the best universities to prove themselves to their acquaintances. In my opinion to avoid these illnesses

people

can do several things.

firstly

, stopping to listen to what

people

think or believe about them is a big step to start. Other thoughts sometimes are really important but listening to them every time can put a big amount of stress on

people

This

situation will cause an illness named social anxiety.

Secondly

, a healthy lifestyle containing healthy food and regular sport can help. Sport is really important for our mental health because after exercise our brain produces hormones named endorphins that we can name happiness hormones. ,

Also

a healthy food diet will do the same job. In conclusion, having less primitive needs to make us busy and the desire to be accepted by other humankind will put a big pressure on humans.

Although

people

can avoid

this

stress by stopping accentuating too much what

people

think.

Furthermore

choosing a proper diet and doing exercise regularly will help a great amount.

Submitted by rsttorkan on Tue Jan 10 2023

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

332 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Stress-related illness are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Competitiveness is a positive quality for people in most societies. How does competitiveness affect individuals? Is it a positive or negative trend?

the number of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods.

Nowadays online shopping is rapidly replacing physical shopping in stores. What are the positives and negatives of this development, in your opinion? Give some relevant examples.

A lot of people believe that the amount of violence shown on TV and in the cinema affects the actions of our young people and therefore increases the amount of violence in our society today. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? What can be done to reduce violence in our society today?