IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You and your friends had dinner at a restaurant to celebrate something special, and you really liked the food and service. Write a letter to the manager of the restaurant. In your letter • give details of your visit to the restaurant • explain what the celebration was for • say what you liked about the food and the service You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to share feedback on the services that I received at your
restaurant
Use synonyms
 on my
Birthday
Use synonyms
 party. I booked the party room to celebrate my
birthday
Use synonyms
 on November 7th, and I was accompanied by seven of my friends. We booked the room from 7 pm. As we entered the
restaurant
Use synonyms
, we were guided by one of your employees for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
directions. Staff present there not only helped to inflate the balloons, but they
also
Linking Words
 recommended
us the food
Correct word order
the food to us
show examples
. I really love the
Birthday
Use synonyms
 cake that was prepared, and we
also
Linking Words
 loved the presentation of the food served there. The staff was regularly asking for any additional items if we need. Having received these little additional efforts from the staff,
made me and my friends
Correct word order
my friends and I were
show examples
 overwhelmed. I am
surely
Replace the word
sure to
 recommend the
restaurant
Use synonyms
 to my friends and colleagues, so that they can
also
Linking Words
 enjoy the finest service offered at your
restaurant
Use synonyms
. Thank you again for the incredible food and service. I appreciate you for making my
birthday
Use synonyms
 party arrangements smooth. Yours faithfully, Praneet Singh

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task response
Score: 7. Add one or two more clear food details, such as the name of a dish or drink you liked.
task response
Keep the tone polite. Change “I really love” to “I really loved” because the visit is over.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 7. Put one main idea in each paragraph: visit details, help from staff, then food and thanks.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple links more often, such as “Also”, “In addition”, and “As a result”.
coherence and cohesion
Some lines are not clear. For example, change “guided by one of your employees for the directions” to “one of your staff showed us to the party room.”
task response
You answer all three points: the visit, the birthday, and the food and service.
task response
You give clear details, such as the date, time, party room, and seven friends.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
The greeting and closing are right for a letter to a manager.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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