Stress-related illness are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#illness

In the current 4.0 era,

social

Change the adjective

socially

show examples

become more

develop

Wrong verb form

developed

show examples

mental

Correct word choice

and mental

show examples

health

should

cared

Change the verb form

care

show examples

Change preposition

for more

show examples

and more

over

Change preposition

apply

show examples

because people

influenced

Add a missing verb

are influenced

show examples

social

Replace the word

society

show examples

every

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

much. So

that

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

, mental illness

are

Change the verb form

show examples

becoming grow very fast. Actually, there are many

agent

Change to a plural noun

agents

show examples

including the

patient

's internal organs and external factors.

First

, we will talk about the

patient

's internal organs, if you

thinked

Correct your spelling

think

patient

Correct article usage

the patient

show examples

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

suffer

Change the verb form

suffers

show examples

from

that

Correct determiner usage

show examples

illness even though they didn't do anything wrong, you should change that sense because

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

we rarely have a meal full of nutrients or do

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

exercises. That will lead to our

health

will gradually decrease. If you do not know, physical

health

has a very close relationship to mental

health

, I will mention

extenal

Correct your spelling

external

factors like family, friends, or

colleage

Correct your spelling

colleague

college

colleagues

. They are people who communicate with

patient

Fix the agreement mistake

patients

show examples

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

especial

Change the word

especially

show examples

family

is affect

Change the verb form

affects

show examples

them most. If we have a happy family, we are always in a happy state because we receive full love from our parents and loved ones.

On the contrary

, we rarely have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

joy and

always

Add a missing verb

are always

show examples

in a mentally unstable state. That will be very

terible

Correct your spelling

terrible

. I am not an expert in psychology so I can give the best solution for

Add an article

the patient

a patient

show examples

patient

Fix the agreement mistake

patients

show examples

but in my point of view, these solutions may help you feel more comfortable when you're sick. When you are under the pressure,

first

all

Add the comma(s)

,all

show examples

you should drink some water and try to breathe evenly. In

this

state, you have to keep

the

Change the word

your

show examples

mind at ease by not doing or thinking about anything. If it's convenient, take a nap and

then

when you wake up you'll feel better. But in case, your illness

become

Change the verb form

becomes

show examples

very bad, I must see your doctor for the best treatment

Submitted by writing65dl on Tue Jan 10 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

285 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry payment and land. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?
Despite the improvements in farming , a myriad of individuals are still hungry. Due to the poverty, many people faint from hunger all around the world. The best method to solve this issue is to give humans jobs that they are able to do.
5.5
band
Some people believe that every human can create art. Other people think that art can only be created by people with special talents. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Recently, it has been claimed that ordinary people could produce art; however, it has also been argued that designing art could only be approached by those with innate talent. Overall, numerous technological tools support humans in creating art now and they could attend classes to learn how to produce works of art. However, possessing skills alone is insufficient to create true art, which could only be produced by inborn artistic talents.
4
band
The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agrée or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In sophisticated world , science is crucial part for every individual. It will help to improve people’s lives. From my perspective, this trend is completely agreed due to growing numbers of agricultural and medical benefits. However, emerging issues seem to be loom over this prospect, which will be discussed below, and I will offer my views.
5.5
band
Some people believe that women should play an equal role as Men in a country's police force or military force, such as the army, while others think women are not suitable for this kind of jobs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is whether the role of women in the army will remain the same, as the current discussion about the army calls into question. Whereas there are people who assert that only men should join the military, I strongly disagree. A woman should be given equal opportunities at the army, navy, as well as air force wherever men are. They actually become the factors that chase increase in expertise and cognition for armed forces alongside of the achievements of a myriad of diverse skills and points of view. There's something within us that allows us to ignore sex as the defining trait for strength.
6.5
band
Some people argue that keeping pets is beneficial for longevity while others believe that household animals are not healthy for people to have as companions. Discuss both sides of the argument and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Domestic livestock is becoming more and more popular. Although pets could increase a level of activity that may lead to a longer life, It may cause several hygienic issues for owners.

Stress-related illness are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry payment and land. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Some people believe that every human can create art. Other people think that art can only be created by people with special talents. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agrée or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that women should play an equal role as Men in a country's police force or military force, such as the army, while others think women are not suitable for this kind of jobs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people argue that keeping pets is beneficial for longevity while others believe that household animals are not healthy for people to have as companions. Discuss both sides of the argument and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.