Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in team sports, like football. While other people think that taking part in individual sports is better, like swimming. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

While

many believe that playing

sports

in teams offers more benefits to the players, others argue that solo

sports

such

as swimming grant people ideal chances to develop themselves. In my opinion, the latter draws my support. On the one hand, it is undeniably true that

sports

which are played in teams provide fertile ground for enhancing the sense of

team

spirit, building comradery and group empathy. To be more specific, only by making joint efforts can fellow players achieve a mutual goal

such

as winning a match or breaking a record. Take football as a typical example, it requires the cooperation of the whole

team

to score a goal against the opponent

team

In addition

, taking part in

team

sports

opens up golden opportunities for humans to establish brand-new relationships with sportsmen from all over the globe.

This

as a result

, expands people’s social circles and develops their interpersonal skills, which is potentially advantageous for them in their work and daily

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

On the other hand

, I would side with the view that participation in individual

sports

is more beneficial when compared to

team

ones.

Firstly

, those who play solo

sports

can be able to reinforce their self-reliance and self-confidence.

This

might be explained by the fact that once

entering

Wrong verb form

they enter

show examples

a competition, they have no companions to rely on, both physically and mentally.

For

this

reason, failure or success completely depends on their determination, which demands them to push ahead with their efforts and deliver better performance.

Secondly

, to play

sports

alone means that integral life skills including goal setting and emotional management are fostered. Indeed, countless hurdles on the way to success

such

as pains and losses only make players become tougher and more resilient than ever. In conclusion,

whereas

engaging in

team

sports

carry

Correct subject-verb agreement

carries

show examples

certain strong points, I hold a belief that people would reap many more benefits from playing them individually.

Submitted by duongle.dav on Tue Jan 10 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more engaging and impactful. Try to make them more compelling to captivate the reader from the beginning and leave a lasting impression at the end.

Task Achievement

You have addressed the topic comprehensively and provided clear, relevant ideas. However, ensure that your examples are backed up with specific details and evidence to strengthen your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

315 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

camaraderie
teamwork
leadership skills
social interactions
self-reliance
personal discipline
cooperative learning
peer motivation
flexible schedule
psychological benefits
collective achievements
sense of accomplishment
personal accountability
wellness goals
social interaction
personal mastery
solitary tendencies

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Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in team sports, like football. While other people think that taking part in individual sports is better, like swimming. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion?

Some countries have recently passed laws limiting the daily working hours of employees. Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact.

Many people believe that good planning is the key factor to success in life, while others believe that other factors like hard work or luck are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people argue that history is of little or no use to us. Other believe that studying history gives many benefits. Discuss those views and give your own opinion.

Some experts believe that it is better for children to being learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?