In many countries, too much money was spent by government and individuals on national celebration such as New Year and religious festivals. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Every National festival frequently spends too much money on the event day,

for example

Linking Words

on New Year or other religious celebration days, by government and folk.In my point of view, I disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement

Linking Words

due to

Change preposition

for

show examples

several reasons

such

Linking Words

its

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

enhancing the country's economy and

also

Linking Words

preserving the culture. First of all, during the event period, many areas and streets will be decorated to make it more festive and relate to the festivals.

For example

Linking Words

, in December each year , places

such

Linking Words

as markets, malls, cafes, restaurants and many others decorate with Santa

clause

Capitalize word

Clause

show examples

dolls, reindeer, and Christmas trees, and even create fake snow. Afterwards, it encourages tourists to come and visit.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the people in the country

also

Linking Words

come out of their homes to join the festival.

This

Linking Words

brings a lot of benefits on the economic side because the tourists and individuals will come out and spend money.

Besides

Linking Words

the economic benefits, it

also

Linking Words

preserves the culture of the children. There are many religious festivals which teach something more than just partying.

For instance

Linking Words

, Songkran

days

Capitalize word

Days

show examples

is the festival in Thailand when people splash water on others.On

this

Linking Words

day, in a religious way,the children will pray to their parents which teaches the kids to

give

Verb problem

apply

show examples

respect them. To summarize, even though the government and people spend a lot of money on the festival season, I agree with

this

Linking Words

action because its advantages outweigh the disadvantages including supporting the economy and maintaining the religious culture. ,

nichamon.9catdigitalTue Jan 10 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Be more specific about how government spending on national celebrations directly impacts the economy and culture preservation. Elaborate with clearer examples or statistics, if possible.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure a smoother transition between ideas and sentences to enhance overall flow. Consider using varied linking words and phrases to connect the main points effectively.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your argument well.

task achievement

You provide relevant examples such as decorating streets and the Songkran festival, which help illustrate your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

248 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

excessive spending
allocate resources
pressing needs
temporary pleasure
cultural heritage
fostering community
national pride
boost the economy
promoting tourism
social cohesion
investment in cultural preservation
budgeting and planning
moderation and strategic planning
cost-effective
vital areas

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others belleve it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Certain college students desire to acquire knowledge in other disciplines alongside their primary fields of study. Some believe that prioritizing their time and focusing on learning for credentials is vital. In my opinion, it is preferable for students to acquire more qualifications for their studies rather than simply studying more subjects. Consequently, I will discuss both ideas and elaborate on my reasons.
7.5
band
Apologizing to a friend You borrowed an important textbook from a classmate last term. You now realize your classmate had returned home overseas and you still have the book. Write a letter to him / her. In your letter: apologize for the mistake find out how important the book is to him / her say what you will do Begin your letter as follows: Dear _____________ You should write at least 150 words. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
I hope this letter finds you well. I haven't written for so long. My studies keep me so busy that I never have a minute to myself. I want to start by saying sorry for something really important. Last term, I borrowed your textbook and I just realized I still have it. I feel terrible for not returning it earlier.
8
band
Young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same way as adults who commit crimes. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
A considerable proportion of citizens adopt a preconceived notion that atrocities are considered equal in the eyes of justice despite the legal category of age. I strongly oppose the former declaration, and this essay will hold the reasons for my view.
6.5
band
Once children start school, teachers have more influence than parents on their intellectual and social development. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is often argued that children are significantly influenced by teachers than parents in their intellectual and social development. Even if it does not appeal to me at all, that’s why I completely disagree with this statement.
6
band
Last month, you visited another town. You had arranged to meet up with a friend who lives in the town, but you were not able to do so. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter - apologise for not meeting him/her - explain why you did not contact him/her earlier - suggest a time and place to meet in the future
I hope you are doing well. I really, want to apologise for not missing for our coffee date. I so wanted to meet you as it has been a long time that we have met or sat to talk and I thought this time I would meet you, however, I could not free up myself from my family commitments.

In many countries, too much money was spent by government and individuals on national celebration such as New Year and religious festivals. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others belleve it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same way as adults who commit crimes. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Once children start school, teachers have more influence than parents on their intellectual and social development. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?