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Band 5.5

Nowadays television and the Internet have a greater influence on children’s behavior than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#television #internet #influence #children’s #behavior #parents
There are contrasting views as to who has a greater
influence
 on a child’s behaviour in today’s time, whether it is the
parent
 or the
internet
.
As per
Change preposition
In
show examples
 my opinion, the
internet
’s
influence
 is unparalleled, but it cannot be compared to the magnitude of that of a
parent
, and
this
 essay will explain why. A child imbibes right from when he/she can process basic cognition, mirrors the
parent
 and sees the
parents
 as a source of all gratification. They try to copy what the
parents
 do.
Further
, not only do
children
 spend every waking moment with their
parents
, but they
also
 laugh with them, cry with them, and want them to caress them as they sleep.
For instance
, kids really love bedtime stories, partly because of
a
Change the word
their
show examples
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
.
Also
,
children
 learn all the basic values, ideas, and thought patterns from their
parents
.
Moreover
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
exposure to media and the
internet
 is under the
parent
’s control. So, what they watch and how much of it is under their scrutiny. The
parent
 has substantial
influence
 over what the
children
 are exposed to.
As a result
, when someone argues that kids learn from the
internet
, it is the
parent
 that has
initially
 screened the content while deeming it appropriate for the child.
However
, it is true that a kid imbibes information from the
internet
 and related media.
For example
, the astronomical rise of
kids’
Correct article usage
the kids’
show examples
 YouTube channel “Cocomelon” during the COVID pandemic tells us how a new blend of learning is being evolved, one that greatly emphasizes the importance of information available online. But, it cannot be compared to a
parent
’s
influence
 on a child from childhood till they come of age. To conclude, the
internet
 has become a vast reservoir of knowledge, even for
children
, but the
parent
 has the greatest
influence
 on his development and behaviour.
Submitted by semsm42 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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