IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Government should put taxes on unhealthy food so that people eat healthy food. Do you agree or disagree?

#government #taxes #food #people
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The phenomenon of whether the state ought to impose junk food tariff in order to discourage the community from eating unhealthy items. Divergent as people's views on
this
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 issue in question may be, I entirely concur with
this
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 statement on the basis of economic incentives as well as green alternative choices. In
this
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 essay, I will probe into the reasons why
this
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 tax do helps promote a balanced diet.
To begin
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 with, of all the reasons why it is essential to put taxes on "trash cuisines", probably the most significant factor is lowering the economic incentive to purchase fast food. As people nowadays are living a hectic life, where they work from dawn to night so they emphasise efficiency and prefer eating microwave meals and cup noodles which contain a large amount of fat, salt, sugar and food additives. It is observable that the rate of obesity and diabetes have skyrocketed in recent decades and individuals who suffer from cardiovascular diseases and colon cancers have upsurged as well.
On the contrary
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, impose a tax on "rubbish products",
in other words
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, the price will
then
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 rise and the public may hesitate to buy a great proportion of these meals.
This
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 in turn directly helps diminish the population who may suffer from diet-related diseases and
thus
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 improves individuals' health condition. Apart from reducing the incentive on purchasing unhealthy cuisines , under no circumstance should we overlook the fact that it creates a nudge force in an attempt to switch to intake of healthier substitutes
?
Change the punctuation
.
show examples
 It is patent obvious that the crowded are attracted by the convenient and cheap junk foodstuff,
by contrast
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, tariffs will immediately push up the price and the attractiveness will in turn decline.
Likewise
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, the public will more likely check out other similar alternatives,
for instance
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, potato chips are taken down for vegetable chips and vegan-based milk replaced soft drinks. With
this
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 positive influence, the folk will
therefore
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 try more low-calorie options,
as a result
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, eating habits among the community will be changed to green. In a nutshell, I personally believe that the council should put tariffs on high-calorie items so as to create a push force on society in terms of eating more healthier products.
Submitted by clara on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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