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It is difficult for people living in cities today get enough physical exercise. Why is it the case ? What can be done to solve the problem ?

#people #cities #exercise #case
In 21 century for the young and old generations and for all people in the world difficult to concentrate on their health and it is hard to get enough physical exercise for the
mind
. There are some ways to solve
this
 problem
such
 as opening relaxation centres, and coming up with a recreation department at
work
.
First
 of all tension and pressure at the workplace affects the quality of
work
. If an employee is tired and sick he did not wanted spend his energy on new projects. Our lungs are most affected by air pollution and our
mind
 is tired. Nowadays for every ,
person
Add an article
the person
a person
show examples
 it is problem how and how much earned money for everyday expenses and how
provide
Add the particle
to provide
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their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
 close people. In
Correct article usage
the
show examples
same
Correct your spelling
some
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
way
show examples
ways
Add a comma
,ways
show examples
 humans
work
 for several jobs and they have not got free time to relax. To solve
this
 problem with physical exercise in my opinion it should be to raise wages
at
Change preposition
as
show examples
 it is not enough to
work
 at two or three workplaces. But in my
way
Add a comma
,way
show examples
 I do some meditation for my
mind
 and to relax my body. Because
quality
Add an article
the quality
show examples
 of
work
 depended
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
 my
stablished
Correct your spelling
established
 condition.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 every person can do exercises himself. If you
work
 all day you
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
 not got free time and your physical and emotional situation will not be in a good position. In order for people to have a stable psyche, they need to go out for a walk more often and devote time to sports. It is
difficult
Correct quantifier usage
more difficult
show examples
 for
mind
Correct article usage
the mind
show examples
living
Change the verb form
to live
show examples
 in cities and megapolises than in a village. Because city citizens do not have access to pure air and to
feeling
Correct article usage
the feeling
show examples
nature
Change preposition
of nature
show examples
, but by the way inhabitants of
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
 have access to
all natural
Add a hyphen
all-natural
show examples
 and organic.
Submitted by argyn-34 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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