IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

some people say the main way to be happy in life to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? what other things in life can make people happy? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #life #money
The table illustrates the numbers and percentages of
households
 living in
poverty
 in Australia, in 1999, segmented by household
types
Fix the agreement mistake
type
show examples
. In general,
single parent
Add a hyphen
single-parent
show examples
households
 had the highest
poverty
 percentage in comparison to aged
couples
 which had the lowest percentage. 21
percent
 of
single parent
Add a hyphen
single-parent
show examples
households
, amounting to 787878 homes were living in
poverty
 as of 1999.
This
 was closely followed by
single person
Add a hyphen
single-person
show examples
households
 at 19
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Couples
 with children and without followed at 12 and 7
percent
 respectively with aged
households
 being the least affected by
poverty
. All in all, aged homes were the least affected by
poverty
. The table shows that there were 3 times more single people
households
 in
poverty
 as compared to
single aged
Add a hyphen
single-aged
show examples
 people, whose
poverty
 rate was at 6% proportion.
Similarly
 aged
couples
 had a lesser proportion of
poverty
 at 4
percent
, in comparison to single
couples
 at 7
percent
. In all, 11
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of all
households
 in Australia in the given year were living in
poverty
.
Submitted by bobbmwewa on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial security
  • Basic needs
  • Comfort
  • Luxury
  • Freedom
  • Altruistic
  • Philanthropy
  • Nurturing relationships
  • Fulfillment
  • Sense of accomplishment
  • Physical well-being
  • Spiritual beliefs
  • Community involvement
  • Gratitude
  • Mindfulness
  • Simple pleasures
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