IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that advertisements are good for society whereas others oppose this view. Discuss both the views and give your opinion

#people #advertisements #society
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Nowadays, the rapid information worldwide provides the easiest way to promote products. Many people believe that
advertisements
Use synonyms
 are beneficial for the community, but others tackle the opinion. I will discuss both views and give my opinion
for
Change preposition
on
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 the latter notion. On the one hand, in the cutting-edge era, massive
advertisements
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 may educate people to know the exact
product
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 function.
In other words
Linking Words
, several
advertisements
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 are created to communicate a
product
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 in order to introduce its function. It will provide an easy explanation to customers and reduce the risk of misunderstanding.
For
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Me
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me
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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, I saw the
advertisement
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first
Linking Words
 to make sure
the
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of the
show examples
 way to use that
product
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 before I had to buy the
product
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.
As a result
Linking Words
, the customers will have
a good knowledge
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good knowledge
a piece of good knowledge
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 to operate the
product
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 just only from
advertisement
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advertisement
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 practices could provide a threat
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 good consumer
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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. In
this
Linking Words
 circumstance, the huge number of
advertisements
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in
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on
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 social media will create bad
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
, namely a consumptive attitude. It will lead to a decrease in sense of smart-buying, and the consumptive consumers might buy a lot of products without considering either need or want.
For instance
Linking Words
, based on a survey from Mckinsey, one of
marketing
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the marketing
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 consultants
,
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apply
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 reported that 7 out of 10 teenagers bought many useless products because they were affected by the
product
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’s
advertisement
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.
Hence
Linking Words
, it will be destructive to human attitude. In conclusion, in my opinion,
although
Linking Words
Use synonyms
advertisement
Add an article
the advertisement
show examples
 is a pivotal way to increase consumer awareness, it
also
Linking Words
 leads to serious toxic
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 related to
Correct article usage
the decision
show examples
decision making
Add a hyphen
decision-making
show examples
 of the consumer
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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