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Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries, there are an increasing number of private cars. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

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Nowadays, the
demands
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demand
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 of using private
vehicles
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 are exponentially increasing.
This
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 essay will elaborate
the
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on the
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 positive and negative impacts of the phenomenon and provide relevant evidence. There are two main benefits of using private transportation on a daily basis towards the economic sector and humans’ sense of convenience.
To begin
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, since
people
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 who have their own transportation should pay
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 annual taxes, it can contribute to the economic revenue growth of the country.
In other words
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, the more cars owned by the communities, the more taxes will be collected by the authority.
For instance
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, my father should pay around a hundred rupiah per item every year, so it will
increase
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 the local income in terms of taxes.
Secondly
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,
this
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 means of transportation will make
people
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 feel comfortable
to go
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going
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 to some places
,
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apply
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 since they can commute easily using private cars without relying on public transport. Privately owned
vehicles
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,
on the other hand
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, might
increase
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 the congestion on the roads. In
this
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 circumstance, societies will use their own four-wheel vehicle to commute every day and eventually
result
Wrong verb form
resulting
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 in
the
Correct article usage
an
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increase
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of
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in
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 traffic jams. As an example, in Indonesia's capital city, Jakarta,
people
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 should experience traffic for hours every day on the way to their workplace.
Additionally
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, it might
increase
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 the number of accidents because there are lots of
vehicles
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 on
roads
Correct article usage
the roads
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.
Therefore
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, commuting by other modes of transport
such
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 as trains will be safer. In conclusion,
although
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 private
vehicles
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 might be advantageous due to the
increase
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 in GDP and individuals’ freedom to travel,
people
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 should consider the other effects
such
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 as the traffic jams and accidents caused by driving private
transports
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transport
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.

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