Employers should give their staff at least four-weeks’ holiday a year to help employees get better at their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Few people believe corporations should provide a month of holiday to their staff. I completely agree with
this
belief because it increases the
overall
efficiency of people and the gains for employers. It has been observed in various scientific studies that the human mind needs some change in its environment to increase its productivity. Sometimes
employees
face burnout after continuously working for hours and need some rest to restart their
work
again.
Moreover
, late working hours
also
have adverse effects on the health of
employees
as they will be working in the office without the required physical movement.
Therefore
, a dedicated month of holiday in a year would help workers to remain healthy and efficient in their
work
.
Secondly
,
employees
will prefer to have prolonged stay in their current companies because of the great
work
-life balance. On top of that, a longer stay in a particular firm will help an individual to become more familiar with the company, and improve their productivity.
For instance
, if folks are getting more family time
while
working in an organization, they will feel motivated and encouraged to
work
and assist companies in gaining more profits as they like the company atmosphere.
Overall
,
this
will be satisfying the needs of both employee and employer. In conclusion,
although
providing more time off to
employees
seems less productive to firms,
this
may increase their
overall
profits because people need some rest to refresh their brains and
work
diligently which will eventually increase efficiency.
Finally
, firms should actively encourage
employees
to take time off.
Submitted by anmols23oct on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your stance and briefly outlines the reasons for your viewpoint. Your essay does well in this aspect.
Task Achievement
Use specific examples to support your arguments. Your essay could be strengthened by including more detailed examples to back up your points.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay has a clear logical structure, making it easy for the reader to follow your arguments. Keep utilizing clear paragraphing with each paragraph dedicated to a specific point.
Coherence & Cohesion
For even greater coherence, try linking sentences within paragraphs more explicitly to show how they relate to one another and to the main argument of the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay effectively introduces and concludes your argument, clearly showing your position on the topic.
Task Achievement
You consistently supported your main points with reasons, maintaining a focus which helps in achieving task response successfully.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • job performance
  • work-life balance
  • stress reduction
  • burnout prevention
  • loyalty
  • creativity
  • innovation
  • motivation
  • morale
  • reinvigorated
  • employee attraction
  • staff turnover
  • well-being
  • competitive
  • productivity
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