IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In many countries small shops and town centers are going out of business because people tend to drive to the large-out-of town stores. This results to an increase in car use and it also means that people without cars have limited access to out of the town stores. Do you think the advantages of such development outweigh its disadvantages?

#countries #shops #town #centers #business #people #drive #large-out-of #stores #results #car #cars #access #development
In their busy ,schedule
people
 do not have enough time to freak out their stress so, they try to do
this
 while shopping so , they prefer to buy things from the countryside shopping centre.
However
, it increases air
pollution
 because of the usage of the car for shopping as well as
traffic
 on the
roads
, while there is only one advantage and
that is
people
 get more cheap products compared to small
shops
 and the town centre.
people
 tend to use a car for shopping for their grocery and other necessary things which increase air
pollution
 reason behind
that is
 every single family use their personal automobile and it increases the number of
car
Change to a plural noun
cars
show examples
 on the
roads
, and due to
this
 the carbon emission rate shows a spike.
For example
,the study by the government
pollution
 board, in India shows that
pollution
 has been increasing in metropolitan for a few decades.
In addition
 to
this
, more
people
 prefer to shop from remote stores increasing
traffic
 problems on the
roads
.
For instance
, in a developing country like India, the public always tries to find
a cheap items
Correct the article-noun agreement
cheap items
a cheap item
show examples
 for that they are ready to travel several kilometres because of
this
traffic
 jams occur on
roads
 which connect the city with the sub-burb. For
this
 ,
reason
Add an article
the reason
show examples
 the trend of shopping in the countryside
shops
 is a negative development. the only positive side of shopping in form countryside
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
show examples
 is , the public can get cheaper products.The reason is there is fewer tax imposed by the government. To conclude, the trend of shopping from large out-of-town
shops
 rather than small
shops
 and shopping centres
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 more disadvantages
such
 as an increment in air
pollution
 and
traffic
 on
roads
 compared to advantages like
Add an article
a
show examples
cheap
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
.
Submitted by vrajlata168 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!